Hi, I just want to rant here. I am 22 and already tired of life. I have been without friends for a long time. Last time I have some friends in doing things is in my junior high school. I have been told to do everything by myself because that is what adults do: doing everything independently. I have a good role model for that: my mother. She is very reliable and can do everything by herself. I too want to be like her. I have been trying to live on without a friend since junior high. It’s scary and tiring to do everything alone. I don’t have any choice though. I don’t have any friends.
I don’t blame them. I am a horrible person that no one wants to be my friends. Or simply because I am stupid. I can’t talk in the same way as them. I am too awkward. I don’t understand how to make friends. Somehow I don’t get the social cues. I don’t know how to express myself verbally.
Right now I feel so lonely more than ever because I live alone. I am depressed now. I can’t sleep and don’t feel like eating or doing anything. I tried to contact people, I thought that if I had some friends I might be livelier. But they all reject me. I am so tired of living. I can’t see a good future for me. All I can see is I will be alone and alone and alone and dismissed and more alone. What’s the point of living..
4 comments
Yes, I am the same way. Trying to do everything alone was a mistake (not that I had any choice, because who could give a damn about me?).
Unfortunately we have to be social apes… no man is an island and all that. There’s nothing wrong with us besides not comprehending socialization in the same way others do, but that shouldn’t even be a bad thing. Alas, society castigates those that are different…
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one. I feel better after I write that up. I bottle up a lot of things inside me. I’m glad I find this website.
I have a cousin, she’s 4 or 5 years old, but she has already had better understanding of socializing than me. She socializes better than me. I feel like crying and laughing at the same time.
Whilst a little older. I am very much in the same position. I’m working, independent and doing okay for myself. I find it very hard to relate to people which makes socialisation difficult.
You think it would get easier as you get older, but it really doesn’t. It just makes problems more focused and the old bullshit is replaced by newer bullshit.
I hope it all ends differently for you though. Good luck.
That’s what I fear: It doesn’t get better as I get older. I have had a hope that this is just a phase in my life, part of maturation. But I am starting to see that is not the case. I doubt it will end up much different. I can’t see any ways to change it. I have tried to be better, but so far nothing works. I don’t know what I should do anymore. At least now I can let out my thoughts and feelings in this website before they suffocate and kill me.