My date is coming up. It’s in May. I haven’t really decided on a method yet but I know I don’t want anyone from my family to find me. I just know how the rest of my life plays out now and it doesn’t seem important to go through the day to day living. I’ll most likely die at work in my 50’s from a heart attack or stroke. My kids will be in college so my wife will have to struggle with the money because my life insurance is only good until I am 50. I figure if I eat a bullet now they can collect on the life insurance (I already checked). I’m worth more dead than alive. No one would really miss me. My wife could move on and find someone who is not fucked up in the head. My kids will be ok. I really just want it all to stop. The pain, the voices in my head telling me I’m not good enough. If I could go to sleep tonight and not wake up I’d be ok with that.
Thanks for listening. I hope to keep you up to date as the date draws near.
1 comment
Perhaps the insurance will support them, but your wife probably won’t be okay. And your kids will never be the same, for sure. Perhaps they will even follow in your footsteps. Never forget the realistic consequences outside some facade of a dream.