Sometimes, there are times in your life where you can’t help but have to say goodbye. Not because you want, or that you necessarily need to. It’s just one of those unspoken things where if the person you’ve met isn’t suppose to be in your path, you need to say goodbye. But the thing with goodbyes… they aren’t forever. They’re a simple reminder that sometime soon, I plan on seeing you again. Whether it be in my dreams or at a different moment, I’ll see you.
Off I go! I’ll be radio silent this weekend.
I’ll be camping. Don’t panic if you don’t see me around for a few days. Because I won’t have internet access.
Be calm. Don’t panic.
HDS is camping.
Have started drinking beer because of course beer. It has a rooster on the label. I’m a light weight, so I’m already buzzed from one beer. Cheap date isn’t the word.
I need a suicide date. date as in, day, not some weird romantic fetish.. But i guess I’ll decide on that later.
I’ve been pushed over the edge now. I don’t have motivation to run away. I don’t have motivation to look for new people or friends. I’ve tried talking and meeting to countless online friends. Some i have pushed away..
I’m done. I can’t do this.
I’ll let you know when i decide on a date.
Thank you Chordful, Kat, Sportsballs, Fakingit.. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you.
I wont ever leave without a proper goodbye.
I’d write more, but tears are like burning my eyes.. Is that […]
Is it really that bad if I kill myself because I’m too tired to live anymore? I’m thinking of setting a date. Now to push everyone away.
So, I think I have a date set. June 25, 2016. 6-25-16. June 25 is my birthday and this year I’ll be turning 16. I’ve always wanted to die on my birthday and I still have a little over a month so I’m ready to finally end my pain.
Hey SP, so a few of you commented on my last post and you gave me some advice, and thank you, well tonight is the night I have my party, sadly I don’t have a date but I will live like I will never live before.
Thank you for your support:
Randall
Cordless
mindlessgamer619
I am so tired of my life and myself, my thoughts makes my throat hurt and the pain shivers down to my chest. Its so tempting to just ram a knife up my throat. If I ever get my own apartment I woulnd’t be surprised if I actually did something like that, I want to cut my guts out, bleed out and destroy myself. As many others on this place my urge grows bigger towards my birthday, I don’t know why that is.. but I suppose to me it feels natural to go out on the same date that you came in.. I also had […]
Theres so much I feel like saying today, but then I try and there’s nothing. I go blank. Been feeling like this most of the day, my vision has been all jumpy and strange, & there is no cohesion to my thoughts.
Kinda feel like staying on this train forever ( Im on my way home from work), and dissapearing and starting all over again. Or just dissapearing. I feel like ive past my used by date sometimes. Like I somehow missed my date with the grim reaper. Probably slept thru it, knowing myself. Hiding under the doona and he couldnt find me.
I’m not supposed to be here.not even to talk. Even this site, I just wanted to leave my story before I go. I registered set password and it told me it was wrong and asked if I wanted to change my pass word, but I’ve never been here. See I’m always pushed not to talk.
When I was 3 1/2 yrs old, I helped my mother dig up hemlock bushes. She dug around it and clipped the roots, but she couldn’t get to the center root. So she handed me the clippers with the long wooden handles and short curved nose. And I cut the root.
On […]
It’s time for a rant!
Sometimes I just need to get things out of my system, otherwise they stay there like bologna someone has left on the counter for ten days. Nobody wants it there but everybody’s afraid to touch it now because it’s green and crawling.
So, here are today’s things that irritate the crap out of me.
Coupons I don’t find until the day after they’ve expired.
(“Nooooo… one day… late… Must save… twenty-five cents….”)
Loud rambunctious people in public, including kids who shout every sentence while their parents don’t take the time to teach them appropriate volume. Meanwhile the kids just shout louder.
Me: “Wouldn’t it […]
Hi people, This is my second post and I need a little help. So I am in high school and there is a dance coming up. I plan to go but I would try to get a date. My issue is that I may like a girl, but because of my depression, I isolate my emotions and I don’t know how to ask a girl out or get in a relationship. Can anyone give me some advice?
I don’t know if I’m truly in crisis or just experiencing an increase in intrusive suicidal/ self harm thoughts. I don’t know how to talk to my husband about it because I know it will upset him. I have everything prepared for my final exit right done to method, date and suicide not written. Still, part of me doesn’t feel like I need help. Sorry for the rambling, just really confused. I don’t know if I should reach out to my doctor for help, wait it out and see what happens or just follow through with my plan.
Along with sportsnut, has anyone heard from yelm? I’m so out to date. I know she wasn’t doing well after the last attempt.
Many old timers here will be more familiar with the back story of Dawg … newer folks, feel free to peruse my past posts that date back to 2011.
The cliff notes:
I suffer from chronic back pain … make life difficult and saps my strength and will … often to the brink. And in years passed I was faced with homelessness through foreclosure … at which point I was confident I could implement my “Exit Strategy” and wash my hands of the whole mess. During this whole time … about the only reason I did not end my pain and cut short the inevitable march […]
Kind of hit me like rock, not sure what I expected. And now the swirling depression just sinks in. I was planning to move out anyway end of the month and when I brought it up to bf he basically told me to get the f* out and that I am supposed to be sleeping on the couch and that we are definitely over. I already paid my half of the rent for the 2bedroom apt we share for the end of the month. It seems a little surreal. I honestly thought I was just going to move out and we would eventually break up since […]
I know that I haven’t been around for awhile…… I’m still alive 🙁 and no I’m not implying that I have attempted to change that…… Meh school things have been fairly stressful, and in addition to getting “help” most of my free time has been spent in bed. I’ve sort of been hanging out with people recently, I think I can call them friends, not certain though. Failing school and stuffs as always, my professors hate me because I am a failure who doesn’t take the classes that they teach seriously and I am simply wasting their time. My “friends” have also all mostly started […]
“You’ll promise me you wont kill yourself, right? You promise me? Not anytime soon, right?”
*Laughter*
It was the awkward kind of laughter; the funny one for the wrong reasons. The laughter of embarrassment, but all you can manage to muster out is a laugh. And smile. Not the cruel kind of laughter; where you’re teasing the person- getting them concerned.
That’s what I said to the psychologist today.
Or, whatever she was. Of course I promised her.
I have to give her credit, she figured out the date all by herself. She’s pretty smart.
Here’s my advice to you: If the psychologist’s trynna get some answers out of you that […]
At this point in my life, I feel like I’m just overwhelmed with sadness. It’s genuinely at a point where I feel like I’m going to cry all the time because I’m just so intensely sad. All the joy of life has been beaten out of me inch by inch over my 41 years.
But it’s hit me really hard recently. My best friend was just dumped by her husband of 10 years for a younger woman, so I’ve been doing what a friend does and being there as much as possible for her. But part of her initial and possibly unhealthy reaction to this has […]
I don’t have the date exactly set, and I’ve only just begun physically drafting the note, after going over it in my head for years. I’m just done. This isn’t out of desperation, fear, etc, I’ve simply made my choice. One I’ve been wrestling with for years. Its too bad though, it was going to be so peaceful and relaxed and no one I care about would have to be the one to find me, but, its most likely not going to work out like that anymore. It doesn’t matter, I’ve made my choice. I may yet decide to postpone the date, but I’m feeling […]
I am currently sitting around, midnight close, waiting for…
Well what?
I have nothing more to do but lie here reading other people’s life stories.
But lying down next to loneliness makes me write this message.
I don’t know what will come out of the following post, but I’m merely letting my fingers wander on the keyboard, awaiting whatever question is suddenly formed.
Perhaps this is a start:
How many of you felt depressed as a teenager (as I am one myself), and the situation never has changed, up to this date?
That you’re still constantly burdened with the same unending sadness from years ago, that still haunts you?
That you have yet […]
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