so..i’ve really fucked up my life. i’m only 14 years old and what can i say about my life? I’m a teenage girl who smokes cigarettes and gets high with her friends almost every day. i self harm (which i started again today :/) and my friends dont even really like me unless they can smoke at my house.
i’m literally so far gone. i just don’t even know what to do anymore.
you know how they say life is a highway? mine’s a dead end. and i’m ready to give up.
right now, it’s late where i am, but i dont sleep anymore. my sleep is filled with nightmares a violence and i cant handle that. so i’ve stopped sleeping and stopped trying in school. i’ve stopped trying to be healthy and i already know i’m ugly so that’s out.
im just so tired of feeling sad all the time. i’m done.
11 comments
I kinda know where you’re coming from, not with the smoking and getting high, but with the nightmares and high school. I try not to sleep either, I wouldn’t at all if my body didn’t shut down from exhaustion. If you ever need to talk to someone who knows what you’re going through, at least partly, just send me an email. And if you’re 14 and doing that stuff, that’s going to mess up your body horribly. Well I’m 15 so it’s not like I speak from experience, but yea, still messes you up
i know it messes up my body…i think that’s why i do it. it’s killing me slowly.
and thanks 🙂 i will!
it really hurts me to say youre ugly. there is no such thing as being ugly! everyone is different in their own way and no one is the same. please realise that you are YOU and you are not ugly there is no such thing as being ugly. the thing that is ugly is society.
btw i know where you are coming from with how you are feeling about sleep. thats what im doing now, i dont want to sleep because im afraid of waking up. im in year 12 and this is supposed to be an important year but im messing it up. i advise to try really hard to start thinking possitive and heal what is broken within you before year 12, the big year.
be safe and stay possitive because i believe in you! 🙂
thank you so much.
but i really am ugly. i mean, im told all the time, it’s no big deal.
and i can’t seem to figure out how to fix things.
Life’s a highway but there are still other paths exits you can take and end up on a much better route. Why not take the scenic route?
You reached the dead end.
Now its time to make a choice.
Is it time to stay here and stare at the sign.
Or time to trun around walk back and take another path.
Or you can be like “why turn back, why let a sign dictate how far I go”, and just keep walking pass that sign and make your own road. A road that someone else in live can follow.
You may be walking into a forrest or some desert, but its the unknown and risk that makes it all the better. You will learn more and grow into such a strong person by creating your own path.
So do you really need these friends?
Where do you think there gonna end up in life?
You want that life?
You may have fucked up.
But your life isnt fucked.
You have choices to make.
I wish you the best.
And understand your worth more than you think, so dont doubt or underestimate yourself.
Take care.
thank you.
i’m just so afraid of what others think of me.
scared of being alone.
and it feels like there isn’t just some sign, it feels like i’m hitting a brick wall.
I haven’t slept in 34 hours because i stay up thinking.
thinking about death, dying, hating myself, hurting myself. I no longer want sleep.
you seem so strong, so brave and independent.
i wish i were more like you, but sadly i’m not.
i’m sorry, but i’ll always be the coward who sat against my dead end and cried until the end.
No, don’t ever give up, don’t ever give in to the end, no matter how hard it is
You’re not a coward!! You’re just a scared person who doesn’t know what to do
Trust me I know the feeling, I’m going through it right now
Hey I’m told that same thing most days from pretty much everyone
Just stay strong and know that those people are probably jealous of how beautiful you really are and they just want to put you down
thank you so much 🙂 i’ll try!
🙂