Miguel De Unamuno – An Eternal Elegy
Oh Time, Time,
relentless tyrant!
Oh terrible mystery!
The past does not return,
it never comes back again,
ancient history!
Yes, ancient, but always the same,
terrifying!
Always present…
. . . . . . . . . . . .
When consciousness is deprived
of the passage of time,
what is it that remains?
What happens to light if the mirror is broken?
. . . . . . . . . . . .
Fierce Saturn,
oh […]
Sometimes I can no longer cope with anxiety and dark images/feelings in my head so I hurt myself, I waste time, I waste opportunities, I waste myself. I once was a rather clever child but now I am stupid distracted and numbed by all my fears. An ancient monster from the past, doing really dirty things. But I’m afraid of making him human so I did’nt ask for his name. My mother want this story to be burried and forgotten but I don’t no what to do. I hate him and I hate myself at the same time, and I wish he could fall and […]
I’ve dabbled at looking at posts on this site before. I have to say there is a lot of strength and a lot of pain by those that post. I don’t particularily know why I’m posting this, I guess I just need to tell someone with an outside opinion.
I’m a Marine veteran who has done two deployments to Afghanistan. I’ve seen some things and done things that will haunt me until I die and the people I try to reach out to never fully understand it. I’ve been out of active duty for over a year now and all I feel is regret. […]
The only thing that ever made me happy about my race or my culture.Is the fact I come from a long line of cons and thieves. In normal perspective that is a horrible trait to be proud of.
But on this site about dead end jobs shity shcool system’s. Makes me a lilttle happy that because of my family life style if i wake up and hustle my ass off and hopefully meet someone. the owner of some billion dollor whatever or heiress of something and just talk and get what i want out of them ill be set no one can tell me shit . not […]
I’ve been working a dead end job in a tiny racist town, known for being religious nutjobs, rednecks and KKK members. I could just end my story there and it would make sense, but im not done ranting.
My boss hired me under the table, so i do not pay taxes and cannot use my job on my resumee to find a new job. I pump gas 37.5 hours a week. There is no room for promotions or raises, i make minumum wage and forever will. My co-worker makes more than me, and works the exact same hours and the exact same job title. Ive been here […]
It’s ironic for me to post here. I do not consider myself a suicidal person. Yet i have made the decision to end my life. So how could a person want to commit sucide and yet not be sucidial? Because deep down i wish i could live my hopes and dreams to get out of bed each morning see the world, delve into the debts of the mystery of the cosmos and kiss the ones i love. A person who is depressed usually loses the desire for all this. But sadly i have not, i want it more than ever. Why sadly? Because the only […]
I told my sister I was sick and she didn’t believe me. Not until I mailed her a suicide note and travelled to a far away destination where I booked a cottage to kill myself. She sent me a lot of texts telling me how much she loved me but it was too late. Ingested the poison but was discovered by one of the custodians, rushed to hospital and later shipped back home where I was committed to a psyche ward.
All this happened 2 months ago. I am still here and still standing. Trying to recover from that nasty experience is not an easy task. Finding […]
Half the reason I stick around anywhere is because I have nowhere else to go
if it was so easy to walk out on my job and my friends and family, I would step right into a new life. But there’s nothing else out there for me.
There’s nowhere left to turn
What i have realized in the recent past, is simply that i am a needless person wasting the space in this shitty (for me) place, known as the earth. And I can prove my point to you.
Firstly i hate the society and humans who all of them selfish and hypocrites. They follow the same rules (trying being cool, have a nice appearance only to be liked be others and hiding their true character) because this is the only way to be accepted. I am not interested in to meet new people anymore and i hate speaking to them because i waste my time for […]
Oh, sure, I can exercise, take care of myself, meditate, eat good food, pursue some hobbies. Looks like my husband is leaving me, despite all the care I gave him. My one flaw of bad temper has him almost hating me now as he rewrites our past. It’s hard to deal with. Okay, the another flaw I see is I was the rescuer, thereby allowing him to be the victim, until he decided I’m the persecutor, because he doesn’t need me (to be the rescuer) anymore. The drama triangle is SO clear to me in hindsight. We’ll be separating for three months soon, and I’ll […]
My life is literally one huge fucking mess. I have no direction whatsoever, I can’t decide for the life of me what I even want to do with this shitty life of mine. I’m a walking contradiction, I can never make any fucking decisions, probably because I can never visualise a positive outcome of any situation ever because my life is so fucking shit. Nothing at all makes me happy, I have no fucking hobbies because I’m too much of a lazy coward to ever put my mind to anything. I have a shitty, dead end retail job which makes my hate my pathetic life […]
so I fucked up my AS levels pretty bad, can find and reason to carry on my A2 courses. Who the hell picks physics, 3D product design and maths anyway? ( plus I’m female so literally all guys in my classes) I wont be happy with my body till its just skin and bones, and since I’m naturally short and stout that wont happen. don’t want to be pathetic but I literally feel nothing for anyone even though I crave physical contact ( major mummy and daddy issues ) have no career prospects as literally nothing but my morning fag will get me out of […]
Just found this site and I need to rant. I’m a 19 year old male and I have nothing to live for. My close friends have left the state so I have pretty much no one anymore. I just lost another girl. Another girl who was raped. I’ve only had two girlfriends. The first ones brother raped her and took her virginity and she FORGAVE him. I’ll never understand how victims let that go. My cousin and my mom were also raped, so you could say it’s something I take seriously. I want them dead. But when I tell these girls that, somehow I’m overreacting. […]
I just want to hide behind a brick wall because I’m ugly and useless and pathetic. I am incapable of it all. I try to forget the pains those people never knew but old faded scars are literally hurting me. And I just want to hide. Maybe that way I won’t have to look at my dead end future.
i wanna die now! i have nobody, no body to listen to me, i dont even know how to talk about my feelings anymore. i dont know why i keep coming to these sites, its all soooo…. artificial. so mechanical, so impersonal, so dehumanizing…. and yet its all i have. unless tonights the night. my moms dying of cancer, she’ll be gone soon, i cant do that to her, not until shes gone…
but once shes passed away ill be free…. free to end my misery, free to leave this place. dont tell me to be strong, i’m stronger than most, my great strength is whats […]
My health is gone i can’t recover, it’s been 5 painful yrs and i am still here…. I am tired of being hospitalize and being told i have nothing wrong with me and i am treated like i am crazy…. I tried eating natural stuff to cure my self and that in itself wasn’t helpful at all… I feel like i am in prison in my own body……. My family tells me not to give up and friends as well.. I have lost friends… this debilitating illness is drowning me… I feel like there’s no escaping this illness and i feel helpless…. I used to […]
In 2010, after over a decade of severe depression and several years of suicidal feelings, I made the decision to finally end things. To this day, it is the only time I have ever made concrete plans to take my life.
I kept a journal documenting my decision and feelings before and leading up to my planned suicide. Below are excerpts from two of those journal entries (the second being parts of a private message sent to someone from my past I had reconnected with. It was written as my end date was approaching).
Perhaps there are some people who will find comfort in reading these things […]
Sometimes, I think we just need a moment to vent our head caves to an audience that doesn’t know us. I really do not feel like dumping my problems on anyone I know, and thanks to the nifty confines of this site, you can choose to ignore it.
My story begins when college ended. The woman I had been with for almost two years decided to leave me, subsequently getting involved with a friend of mine. She has found happiness and success in her new life, so I hold little ill will toward her. In fact, I knew that the relationship was not healthy with my […]
I am not certain what to type here.
A few years ago these tendencies, these thoughts, would feel foreign to me. To put it mildly, life was pretty good. I had a significant other who wanted to marry me, I was a straight A college student, and I had a broad pick of graduate programs to further my degree.
Now?
Enter the cliche story; she left me for a friend, college ended into a dead end midnight job, and graduate school did not work out. After diving in the deep end into jobs just to stay afloat for the past year, I am now left jobless(at 26), and I had […]
I’m a good person, overall I don’t think there’s anything I do which is bitchy or dishonest. I really do live by the golden rule. Treat people how you want to be treated. I’m not even exaggerating. I really do.
I am quite a shy person. It come from a result of bullying throughout my childhood and onto my teenage years. Actually the first year of my life that I wasn’t bullied was when I was 17. (I’m in my mid 20’s now) Sometimes I wonder if I have some sort of social disorder, because even now I find it hard to connect and trust people.
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