Every time I meet and start talking to a new guy I am really happy then they turn to assholes after a day asking for nudes and sex, whenever this happens I just feel like shit.
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Not all guys are bad, me and my girlfriend have been going out for 3 months and doing better than ever…you just need to meet the right guy. I know things will get better…Goodluck Rachelxoxo
Why?
It just means they like you.
And why would anyone pursue “a relationship,” if they’re upset by being desired sexually?
Most guys are taught, and this is reinforced, that they have to “court” a female, or even pursue an actual “relationship” with her, in order to access sexual experiences. But for so many of us, this is so difficult, sometimes virtually impossible, that we get tired of the “game,” and just go straight for the confirmation that we actually have a chance to gain what we want.
At this point, regardless of whatever either of us may like about each other (generally speaking), if you don’t want sex with me, i don’t want to talk to you.
If you’re not comfortable with the notion or practice of sex, perhaps you should not seek a relationship. Just like anyone else, you are free to disregard anyone who doesn’t fit your criteria for companionship.
“if you don’t want sex with me, I don’t want to talk to you” ? honestly. First of all, im not upset that they are sexually attracted to me im upset BECAUSE after a day of knowing each other they ask for nudes or sex is that appropriate to you? or is it okay because that’s what guys are taught, to be perverted assholes.
“Why, they just like you” after a day im supposed to be okay with giving away my body and have sex with him because he will get tired “of the game” this is not a game im 17 and not losing my self respect to just make sure your needs are met and every thing is easy for you.
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rcola10 thank you 🙂
Fuck adolescent guys, you should bat for the same team, girls be hella cool ayy holla
No but seriously, I completely empathize with your predicament, most adolescent boys unfortunately are deeply influenced by culture and society’s misogynistic dogma. They are conditioned to think that women are resource for them to derive sexual pleasure and company from and nothing more, after extirpating what they desire from a girl, moving on to another to satisfy their needs without taking into consideration the needs and desires of the girls they are exploiting. Society essentially dehumanizes girls, breaking them down into objects to be played with and tossed when their “usefullness” has been depleted. This of course does not encompass all men nor necessarily a majority. Many men that I’ve had relationships with (platonic or any variation) have needed to have a sexual component in it, this is just an observation. I suppose it can also stem from intrinsic, innate instincts in males. In many animal species the only role the male performs and functions for is reproduction hence why many male animals go to the extreme, even sacrificing and endangering themselves solely to mate with the female. (praying mantis, black window spiders etc.)
But yeah, if I were you I would steer clear from adolescent boys unless you find one that is actually sensible, you can usually tell this right off the bat, trust your gut. 🙂
CN’s attitude is why he don’t get no ***** (hence why he’s upset in the first place, it’s an intricate paradox he’s instigated himself)
I’ve talked five months with a girl from here. I liken it to a serious relationship with no physical contact (there’s this massive pond in the way) but I like to think that the intimate details we’ve learnt about each other have in turn developed our friendship into not only a mutual understanding of each other, but a huge appreciation of what we both helped one another recover from.
We keep good company as well, regardless of our different backgrounds and lifestyles. We share pictures, videos, audio snippets (all totally SFW, I should add) all of which you’d never think would be possible, from a suicide forum of all places. But it happened and we still keep each other in extremely good company.
Anything is possible, I suppose you happened across my lesser minded brethren. In which case you could always take Stendarr’s advice. As I’d previously said before, it takes an exceptionally self aware individual to express their true desires in this bigoted society we live in today, but if you’re staying true to yourself; no one else can question your own personal endeavours.
Would anybody buy a car without looking under the hood first and taking it for a test drive? A woman might, but most men wouldn’t.
There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you’re getting into before you get in too deep.
“Don’t buy the cow until after you’ve tasted the milk”.
at least you know someone from the other sex that would ask you for something or at least talk to you! I’ve never had such relationship with a girl before!
Humans come in all shapes and sizes. That also means desires and expectations. Meeting people is all about chemistry. Sex without intimate attraction is shallow.
You can’t speak for others the way you do, but you may well speak about your needs which is fine. Some idiots love using the word misogyny simply because they are sexless with little sexual desires then get confuse with the men being over bearing and translate that being disrespectful of women. That’s a dumb person talking.
When I meet a new person, sex is important to me as I am a sexual person. If the other is not reciprocating the same body language and attraction then I would not even bother.
There is sex and then there is passionate sex. There’s a difference.
no… there’s a million reasons i don’t get laid, but my “attitude” is merely a result, not the cause… though i’m sure you typical females would love to tell yourselves that “i’m doing it to myself,” and that it’s somehow all my own fault, because women must be perfect and without fault in your own minds.
My attitude is a result of wishing i was wrong, but knowing i’m not.
The simplest way to put it is that i’m just a scrub in a world full of divas, feminists, and theists, who apparently think an erect penis is the most dreadful thing since beards.
If you’re female, and:
1) you don’t like masculine traits
2) you get upset when guys want to see you naked
3) you think sex is “perverse”
…you’re probably not heterosexual.
The point of my comment above, was that guys get tired of the bullshit (which so many of you put us through), and don’t want to waste time on a girl who isn’t going to put out. So as soon as they start to think “maybe she likes me…” they go for the confirmation that you’re sexually interested. If you’re not, it’s best for them to discover this as soon as possible, so they can stop wasting their time, and as a by-product, yours. If you are interested, you’ll react positively to such advances, and because why wait? Life is for living. There’s no use chasing something that isn’t going to happen, and there’s no use waiting for something good, if you could be doing it right now.
I’ve had more than enough of my time wasted by girls who tried to use their femininity, their “sex appeal,” to manipulate me into actions they had no intention of rewarding. I’ve watched so many girls do this same thing to so many other guys. I have no more time for that, and no room in my life for girls who don’t intend to share that with me… and this is not a case of me wanting something for nothing, either. This is me wanting a mutually enjoyable experience, but being treated like shit, for various reasons beyond my control, and then even being directly blamed for them.
And since there aren’t any, and won’t be any, i don’t have much motivation to stick around this cesspool much longer.
Meanwhile… you all go right on ahead and keep being offended by guys wanting sex. It makes you look fucking stupid.
You wouldn’t buy a car that doesn’t run, without seeing it first, right? I wouldn’t waste my time on a girl who doesn’t put out, without seeing it first. (cars and girls are both prohibitively costly and high maintenance, and aren’t worth having if they cause more problems than they’re worth, and don’t get you where you’re going, and in an acceptably pleasant way; same can be said for guys, from the girl’s perspective)
Beards are very much in at the moment. Get with it! 🙂
Hell, I wouldn’t waste my time on a girl that says she hates oral sex.
A wise man once said: “If it’s got tits or tire’s you’re going to be spending money.” Might as well invest wisely.
no, i mean real beards, not those fake ass ultra-sculpted, impossible to maintain “beard-model” beards.
Man scaping isn’t a dirty word. The Grizzly Adams/Unabomber/Separatist look isn’t exactly a babe magnet.
“The Grizzly Adams/Unabomber/Separatist look isn’t exactly a babe magnet.”
Yeah because, surely, anyone who has wealth would shave, because it’s absurd to think that a man might actually feel comfortable with a completely unhindered beard.
Just wait until Chuck Norris reads this post – he’ll punch a hole straight through the internet and beat some people over the head with an electric razor.
Do what you want, even if 99% of the female population is repulsed by it.
Just don’t act surprised when 99% of the female population says ‘no thanks”. Do what you want, it’s your choice.
People are stupid, many of whom are repulsed by completely normal things like beards, which is why i lean heavily toward the “fuck this world” perspective.
If only it were as simple as just shaving.
I’ve tried that, it doesn’t change the result.
* I should have ended that sentence with* “and live with the consequences of your choices”.
Yes. People who aren’t on board with your perspective are obviously stupid.
If only everybody agreed with you, the world would be a better place. I feel your pain.
It sucks having to share this planet with people who think differently. Gawd, people with differing opinions are so godammed annoying.
i’m stuck with the consequences of every person’s choices who have in any way affected me, including my own, regardless of whether i “accept them” or find them fair or justified.
So, to say “live with the consequences of your choices,” is ironic, since i don’t have any choice in the matter; as usual. Which is pretty much the gist of why i should just go ahead and die. At least suicide would actually be a choice, and one that actually most effectively solves all of my most important problems, at the source. If i don’t exist, i can’t have or experience problems.
So really, my whole life has been about figuring out that everyone wanted me to not exist, but were too afraid of the consequences they would face for taking action to make it happen; they wanted to, instead, simply grind me to nothing until i wanted to die badly enough to do it myself.
You know what they say: “if you want something done right…”
I can fix all of my problems by ceasing to exist.
No one has ever shown me any evidence to support the assertion that any better solution can exist. Though quite a many have shown me how solutions exist for other, more manageable circumstances, which aren’t really applicable to my own. I’m not sure what that was supposed to do, but it never really helped.
it’s not THAT their opinions differ, but HOW and WHY.
They are wrong, and refuse to correct themselves, and it has cost me my life (as well as many others; i’m not the only one saying these things and being ignored).
I get it. You’re a victim. You have no arms, no legs, no will. You’re at the whim of the tide.
There’s absolutely nothing whatsoever that you’re capable of doing regarding your outcome. You have zero control, you were born into slavery.
That sucks. I respect your decision to give up. Best wishes, man.
That’s the kinda shit, right there, that makes me want to give up.
Anything less than sufficient is perceived as zero, but then turned against the insufficient, in order to make their already impossible circumstances even more unbearable.
Have fun being “that guy.” I’m sure it’s better than being this one.
@clevername: You’re a good guy & I have faith in you. You might think that I’m an asshole, and you might be right, but I really don’t care.
Stop being so godammed pessimistic. If there’s anyone on this site that can pull through it’s you, dickcheese. I have faith in you. You’re not a loser and I think that you will prevail.
Perhaps I’m wrong….it’s your choice, man.
if only i could afford to see the world through motorcycle-tinted glasses. I wonder what that’s like. I bet that’s a fun filter. But it’s yet another way of seeing things, that i just can’t access. It’s kinda like how i had no idea how shrooms would be, before i actually experienced them… but once i did, wow, life altering experience. I think most of the benefits of that expanded consciousness have finally worn off.
But the one thing, the most important thing, of which i am absolutely certain… is that the reason things are so bad for me, is because i *do not* have the choice… the choices which actually matter.
I am the type of person who seizes a solution when i am capable of doing so, because fuck waiting. If i can fix it, i fix it. I’m what and where i am, because of what i can’t fix. I found problems bigger than me, stopping me from being anything more than this.
I could so easily go on and on about this particular thing… but the point is, i’ve said it so many times… if there was an available, viable choice that i could actually choose, i would. There isn’t. And yet, people keep saying it’s my choice. And once again, suicide isn’t the choice i want… it’s just yet another scenario where “the least bad thing” ends up being something i don’t want. Though it seems to also be the only effective option.
I would rather solve/fix it, than just throw it away… but i don’t have the tools, and no one else seems to understand how i’m built… no matter how much i try to explain. There’s no more time and no more resources. And what’s worse, it seems there was never any chance of any solution anyway. I wasted my whole life trying to solve, fix, and improve, what i should have known, long ago, was irreparable, and should have just been thrown away.
@clevername; I did some upgrades on the bike today, now I’m watching youtube videos. Slayer did a really good job of covering Minor Threat in 1996.
I like knowing that you exist on this planet.
Whatever. I have no solutions to offer, I’m just saying hello and goodnight. 🙂
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3I88wsFKao&feature=kp
CN, you should join MENSA it’s a group of really smart, old white guys who just sit around and feel superior to everyone else :O
i’m pretty sure i can feel superior to others, in the ways i actually am, without “MENSA.” Plus, it’s not all old white guys… you ageist, racist, sexist.
None of this has anything to do with me feeling or needing to feel “superior.” In case you hadn’t noticed (indicated by defensive responses insinuating what they obviously do), it’s quite the opposite.
If someone asks you for nudes, you don’t have to oblige. You can just say “no, i’m not doing that,” which is vastly different than “giving yourself to someone” (which, again, is not the point… and also, frames the situation as you giving something for someone else to receive, but receiving nothing in return, which is not how sex is supposed to be! If that’s how it is for you, you’re doing it wrong).