It’s been a while.
I went through ups and downs and now I am actually on the final leg of my journey. But I feel like I shouldn’t be.
How did I get this far? Time passed by so quickly and I didn’t even get the chance to realize it. I feel like I am at this level, but I cheated my way here. Most of them are so much smarter than me, picking up all the points when I’m here still figuring out why the square peg won’t get into the circle hole.
They all look at me and say “wow, there’s a person who got it together.” But what have I got? And why is it together to them, when it’s falling apart in my hands, like grains of sand?
I made it this far, but I don’t feel like I even took a step. I feel so confused, bemused, and just lost.
It’s been a while.
2 comments
That really hit me in the heart…
Reminds me of how everyone thinks of me as the one that is perfectly happy, but I’m so broken and torn apart…
Projection is huge. People may be enviously seeing in you what they think is lacking in themselves.
Some people appear completely confident, but inside things aren’t as orderly and together as they might like you to think.
I forget what they call it (“imposter syndrome”?), the fear of accomplished people that they will be discovered for being a fraud.
You’re probably being hard on yourself. Perfectionism is a *****, but self acceptance is a good path towards confidence and healthy relationships.