I have 480 pills (24,000 MG of diphenhydramine HCL) should be enough to kill someone who is over 100 pounds.I’m only 85-88 pounds so this might actually work.My birthday is on Wednesday I’m 14 right now.I’m not sure what I want anymore sometimes I really want to die,but other times I’m not sure.I feel so lonely right now and I don’t really have any plans for the future either.No one really talks to me.I had this counselor I met once a week but since my ‘medicaid’ got cancelled I can’t talk to her and no one else seems to care.My grades kinda suck and I have no friends.Everyone else at school seems like they are having the time of their life and have plenty of friends but I have no one.No one really cares how I feel the last time I told someone how I really feel they just sent me to a mental hospital to get medication.No one has time for me my dad’s always at work and my sister’s going to college and the one “friend” I have doesn’t even call me.Even if I didn’t kill myself I would still die anyways.I think tomorrow is the best day to take the pills.
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dont go dude. im the exact same age as you and know exactly how you are feeling. it will get better
I tried to kill myself when I was 14 too. I wish I hadn’t, it caused a lot of problems. If you need a friend and need someone to talk to, I’m here. I know what it’s like to not have anyone. You can email me at heychamsta@gmail.com. I really hope you will be ok.
Darling Hanna,
I’m so sorry to read about how bad you feel. There’s something utterly wrong with our schools if there are kids like you walking around them and no one pays attentions.
But, please understand. This is just school – a temporary station for you. It might be your whole world now.. but in 20 years, you’d have trouble remembering even a single name of all those classmates that seem to be having the time of their lives (btw, this is surely fake). Schools seem to be less educational institution and more and more look like weird, ‘trial’ social collectives. But, if you are 14 now, you’ve only got a few years of that left, you know?
Yes, you are right – eventually we will all die. But it is way too early for you, child.. there’s so much more for you to experience. Of the good stuff. The sweet taste of freedom, when you are finally on your own. To do as you like, what you want and when you want it. To not have to go to school. To find out what it is like to have a job and be secretly proud that you are doing it well.
To discover what love and heartbreak is all about. To become a mom, and a grandmother.
There’s simply too much you are going to miss!
I sincerely hope you will reconsider taking these pills, and you won’t have to wake up in a hospital having your stomach pumped. Then, your dad will have to take time off work.. it would be SO much better if you simply tell him now how sad, lonely and heartbroken you are. Not then.
I wish you all the best! A year from now, I hope that you will be anticipating your 15th birthday in a brand new, happy, excited mood. I also hope your dad gets you a nice present. ; – )
Big Hugs,
Gillian
Sorry meant 16th birthday next year (since you’ll be turning 15 on Wed)
gillian has a 28th birthday coming up, and I don’t know what to get her! Yippps
Ik how u feel. I just went to a mental hospital a couple months ago, they didn’t listen to me , they just gave me medication that i just stopped taking cuz i was just tired of it. I have no friends either, and I’m not exaggerating. I overdosed on Tylenol and that’s how i got in the mental hospital, it wasn’t fun but i rly wanna do it again. Maybe u just need someone who knows how u feel. U can email me and we can talk. Ur not weak, your very strong, ur just tired and need someone who will listen. Email me if u want.
jessicaloeber1234@gmail.com
Stay strong
Hi ahannah123, Please dont take the pills tommorow. I have tried pill and alchohol overdose and it didn’t work. I wouldn’t want any other human being on the planet to have to go to the hospital and find out they have brain damage or liver damage. Its not over yet for us. Lets be warriors for a little while longer. I feel suicidal everyday and have tried but IDK why im still here. I have strengthened other people and touched there lives because I don’t know how much longer I can live either.
I hope you have a happy birthday if you decide to not try and OD.
Very cheery today, BP – I hope it was a good day for you!. Please say something nice to the darling girl her, it’s her birthday coming up, not mine.
Child, if you log on here on Wed I promise you we’ll have a surprise for you.
Hannah, Wednesday will be special on sp, don’t forget to log in!
I won’t say anything to try to stop you since it is ultimately your choice to take the pills, but I have a sister who’s turning 13 this year…so she’s around your age, and it kinda makes me feel like I have to at least say something to see if maybe you’ll second guess this.
I can’t say much about not going through with it because I’ll be honest, I’ve been planning a way out for a while now, but I just hope you will get the strength to go one more day. And then another. And find peace in this life.
You aren’t alone. I know it feels that way because I always feel that way, but remember, those of us suffering from depression are all in this together.
Please stay safe. And stay strong.
Bye then.
I won’t lie for you, life is not worth living.
KIRA, you cannot be more wrong!
If life really wasn’t worth it, there wouldn’t be so many billions of humans around. Not to mention all the other trillions of living creatures.
it’s an incredibly painful way to go!
Hanna,
Things hurt beyond imagination and feeling hopeless to make things better is the worst kind of suffering. I know this. And it’s even worse when you feel alone and abandoned. I don’t try and talk anyone out of something that is ultimately their own personal decision although my hope for you is that you will reconsider. You seem young, and you have time to turn things around if you can find a way to regain the identity that seems to have been given away to other people. A small beginning in the right direction is all you need. But more than that, Benadryl is a horrible thing to poison yourself with. I know this too, because when I was younger I tried the same way and the chances of success are slim. But the experience was horrible.
It eventually started waking me up instead of putting me to sleep, and then I could not control my limbs. I was discovered by someone and against my will they called 911. They had to restrain me because I was flailing around so much they feared I would injure myself and since there wasn’t much in the PCC database about Diphenhydramine overdose they would not sedate me. As time went by I lost all awareness of my limbs so I ended up sort of like a football bouncing around the bed in E.R. – a torso with no arms or legs. My ears rang so loud it made my eyes water, and again since there wasn’t much data on it they elected to absorb it with charcoal and push it through my digestive track rather than risking a stomach pump. I don’t have to tell you what the side effects of many huge doses of charcoal in suspension are or how long they last but believe me you’ll be replacing all of your undergarments several times. The last thing I will mention is the resulting restless legs and arms – not severe for 5 or so days and nights like Opiate withdrawal, but unimaginably horrible for a month or more. And nothing helps.
Hannah, I don’t mean to be crude. But I speak from experience and I’d really hate for you to go through that. Diphenhydramine just isn’t a good way. I truly do hope things get better for you, and I hope you can find at least a spark of desire to love yourself in spite of what others do or how they treat you. I know you can find that spark.