Can’t seem to find that tiny spot of silence inside my head tonight. Thoughts swimming around and around on repeat. Why is it when you are at your lowest the easiest of things are so hard? Sleep is not usually a stranger to me. I can sleep through anything just to get to the next moment. I use sleep as a barrier to keep me from having to face real life. So what happens when sleep doesn’t come? I go deeper and deeper into the place I so want to hide from. Face to face with every memory I try so hard to forget. Even the most mundane of times I can find a way to stir up the pot and turn it into another reason I should not exist. This is not living. I am in a dream world, so lost to myself. Wish I had an off switch tonight.
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I hear ya on the sleep thing… Tonight, sleep is not being my friend. Tuesday was a long day so I guess I understand why. Sooner or later, I’ll fall asleep at the keyboard but tonight seems like it’ll be later rather than sooner.
I try to close my eyes but I can’t get there. Took my sleeping pills 4 hours ago and nothing. Keyboard sleep marks on the face are all the rage these days.
Same here with the sleeping meds… Granted, the sugar content of the Pepsi and cheese danish that I probably had a little while ago didn’t help… but I was awake and hungry. I shut off the lights, turned on a fan, and laid there for ages… so I gave up and hit the keyboard. We shall see.
I always need to sleep with a fan on. The constant noise soothes me.