When I was young I prayed to god to ‘look after my family, send angels to protect them and if he had to, take my life instead of theirs so I wouldn’t endure the pain of their loss’ I prayed the same prayer for almost ten years, for a child with no life experience I couldn’t help but obsess over this worst pain scenario?
Last night I screamed. For the first time in a long time I tried to scream out all my pain, no noise came out though. The sense of reality forced a shit load of tears instead. My swollen eyes made it hard to fall asleep. Dear shooter, where the flying fuck are you…
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Tears are a good way to bring the body into balance.
Sometimes I visualize myself having to wretch dark stuff out into a bucket.
I think thee is something liberating about letting a good scream out, but it often draws unwanted attention.
I really admire it when people can really open up and sing.