No one understands

Everyone just expects me too be ok. To one day wake up and be all happy and cheery and say hey maybe life isn’t hell for me. They all think that these thoughts can be turned off as if they were a light switch. They can’t see that as much as I try to erase them from my mind they become murkier and more blurred. I’m sure if they knew how I felt like, they would see what it feels to have a giant chain ball dragging you down into an ocean that there is no return from.