Time

It’s been about 9 months since I’ve posted anything. I wish I could say it’s because things have changed and gotten better, but that’s not the case. Things have gotten worse. I’ve started cutting. A lot. Very few people know. It’s easy for me to hide it because I do it on my thighs and stomach. The only person who knows that I know in real life, is my boyfriend. He has depression and has been through tough times too, but he’s never done anything like this. I feel bad, because I know I’m ruining my body for him, but I still can’t stop. It’s become an almost daily thing, that I have to do it. He tells me to text him and talk to him, but I’d feel guilty if I messaged him at 3am when the urges are the worst and wake him up. I hate that I’m hurting him, but I have to keep hurting myself. I can’t stop. Even if I wanted to….