what to do?

I am 16 and I have been in a phyce ward and i’ve been to C-Star Rehab for drug abuse. Over this past year I have grown to be more and more depressed. I would rather not talk about why because it may piss people off and the other reasons are embarrassing. One reason I don’t want to is my family of course and the other is what happens after death, if after death was purgatory then it wouldn’t matter to me because then all of lives worries would be gone. My last reason would be because I would like to know what the future will hold. I have been looking up ways to commit suicide recently. Earlier this year I was wanting to use Coke or Pure Heroin to do it but I figured that would be terrible until I died. Then recently I thought I could just take 50 coriciden cough and cold pills that I have over dosed on before and I just fell asleep and woke up and blacked out and alls I remember is being high for a week after going to a hospital and almost killing my brother and my self because of that medicine but that was before all this depression hit. I figured coriciden would be the best way out because I could just fall asleep and wake up to death. Then I though what if it isn’t what I think it is and I end up going through a lot of pain before I die and what if I don’t even die or my brother finds out what I did and I have to go back to the hospital and rehab again because of it. Then today I was thinking maybe over dosing on sleeping pills would kill me so I looked up what would happen if i did and it sounds terrible. I’m not wanting to experience pain so tomato I’m going to see if my parents still keep the guns at Grandmas house and see if I can find bullets for it. Before all this I figured I would just us tobacco until death because it is a natural way to die. I was also wanting to join the army simply to serve my country and a later reason was so I would be killed. I am still thinking about it though and some time I should be getting my depression medicine bumped up. The gun thing is mainly because it is comforting to know that there is away out. 1 reason I am depressed that I will tell you is because of a girl that I was dating.