Workin on it..Help

I always get on here and just look at everything everyone is saying so I figured I would post something today. I have many scars and a black heart. I miss the way I was before I started cutting myself, but I wouldn’t change a damn thing in my life or anything I have done to myself. The other day I broke down completely in front of the man I thought I could trust completely. I bawled my eyes out for almost an hour because of my f*cked up life and how bad I was feeling about everything. I tried to explained my feelings but failed epically. He looked at me and told me he wished I was happy and he didn’t want a girlfriend that was as f*cked up at I am. This made me pick up my razor and I had to throw it out of a window. I have taken up the new habit o biting my finger as hard as I can without breaking the skin because if I have the pain without the blood I’m hoping it will help me recover from the cutting. I am becoming more and more depressed but trying my hardest to get better. What should I say to him to make him understand that I am just having some trouble right now and need him to be there and hold me when I cry, instead of making me feel like s*it about it all. I just want him to understand that.