Would you go?
To my funeral I mean
If I got the courage
To kill myself
If I knew you in person
You would meet my parents
And my sister
Though she’s a bit mean
When I die
And they put me 6 feet under
And a grave on top
Of the earth for me
If you visit my grave
Not saying you have to
But if you do
Please don’t bring flowers
Unless they’re fake
I like carnations then
They remind me
Of Valentine’s day
I never got a carnation
But I always gave them
To my friends
Because they never got them either
I also like roses
Red to be specific
But the color white
That’s okay too
Red though for the color
Of love
The feeling that I haven’t felt
In a long time
White for purity
And innocence
I was innocent before
But now I’m a monster
I like roses
Because they remind me
That
With beauty comes pain
So if you do visit my grave
And you bring flowers
Please let them be fake
I just prefer fake over living
I don’t want anything to die
Because I died
I don’t see how that’s fair
Do you?
Also if you do visit my grave
I’d like some candles
If that’s not too much to ask
I like fire a lot
It also reminds me
That with beauty
Comes some
Pain
And it’s pretty
Wild
But yet
It’s tamed
I mean you don’t have to
Visit my grave either
But I’d like it if you did
It’d be nice
And if you go to my funeral
If I die
Or should I say
When?
Well if you do
Tell yourself that it wasn’t your fault
And you helped me
A lot
I have a message written for you
I’ve written this about
A thousand?
Times
Just over and over again
Trying to get the wording right
I never did get it perfect
But I do like it
I’m sorry that I wasn’t strong enough. I wasn’t brave enough nor was I courageous enough to get help. I guess I wasn’t enough. It’s not your fault that I am lying down with no breath left. It’s not your fault I have said my last goodbye. It’s not your fault that I am lying here dead. I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry.
Would you go?
I would go to yours
If I knew where it was
I would walk there if that’s what it took
I would go
Because you helped me
It seems only right
To honor you.
3 comments
Oh LetItGo… No funerals anytime soon please, love? I like your idea of a shrine so to speak, but this is not needed, not now and not in the near future. It seems you have quite the affinity with whomever has been beside you all this time; they should consider themselves honoured to have known you and been a part of your life.
As I said before – do not apologise. What’s done is done, and what is about to happen can never truly be stopped, as it manifests into something else anyway. Through it all, it only seems fair to honour yourself as well. Please do take care, and you’ll be in my thoughts.
I often had the same thoughts… I have absolutely nobody in my life right now, so nobody would go to my funeral, nobody would visit my grave.
But please… don’t go right now. Something tells me that there are still good things to come in your life and that you just have to wait a bit longer.
*hugs*