It’s been 3 years since we said goodbye. He wanted it to last, I wanted it to end. I knew I broke his heart, but I had to do it. I was nearing my end, and I had to end us before I ended myself.
I didn’t tell him that reason though, I told him that I was too immature for him. He deserved someone on his level, a smarter person, someone unbroken. I wasn’t ready to take on the responsibility of someone else’s feelings.
I removed him from facebook, made my profile extremely private, and made my last status.
The rope wasn’t strong enough.
He’s always been in the back of my mind, but I knew he has forgotten about me. Who wants to remember the ***** that broke  your heart?
I’ve moved on, figured out what I needed to do to get my life on track. Now I’m happy and close to reaching my life goal.
Then that message: “hey how have you been? you still live nearby?”
Those memories of pain and insecurities flooded my brain at that moment. and I froze. How did he find me?
I tried to sound as normal as I could. On screen my response sounded as ordinary as it gets. In my mind, an emotional tornado was raging through. The memories of my fears and tragedies came back, my depression returned full force. Today started as a very happy and productive day, only to be turned into a cold, melancholy night.
It’s been 3 years. Why now?