Hello.
I hate people. I feel stressed everytime someone talks to me or looks at me. I only feel comfortable if I know someone. But still, I don’t really want to be friends with them, they usually annoy me or make me bored. I probably have some kind of phobia or whatever. What I really like to do is to watch the pranks on youtube, play computer games, eat good food and workout. I’d like to live alone and drink whisky. I hate parties except if I’m drunk. I’m 16, I forgot to mention. I am only opened if I drink too much. Â Do I have to become a fucking alcohol addict? I don’t like speaking with my family, I can’t find a girl because I consider every chick dumb from the beginning, and I hate dumb people. I’m probably not too intelligent too, but I like to think like I’m a prodigy. I lack some feeling of love, I’d like to hug or kiss, it’s not even about having sex. Sometimes it feels like someone threw me to the wrong century. Maybe I was supposed to live in medieval or even earlier. Or prehistoric. I would hunt mamooths and fuck women and breed. It’s so simple. I used to be fat and I was being insulted by some people, it made me think of suicide few times. I used to think that I’m a dumbass child who can’t perform anything. I used to take part of some projects in the primary school, but there were some fails (like falling in the middle of performance and being laughed off by other kids), Â and these times are gone – but maybe it hurt my brain. I like to be melancholic, I used to be sensitive and cry much after reading books or movies. It’s gone, but it comes closer to me last times. I even cried two tears today. When I was growing up, I was acting like retarded attention whore. I want to live alone, make money and giving gifts to strange people to make them smile. I don’t care. I’m really weird when it comes to materiality. I’ve read crap about Starpeople and I think it’s dumb. It makes me feel like a psycho and I don’t want to catch something. I’m normal. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me or to go see the therapist, they suck. My sister had like 3 boyfriends in her lifetime, and she didn’t make out with any of them. She’s like 22 now. Maybe I won’t have a successful romance ever too? What am I supposed to fucking do? What’s purpose of my life? Why can’t I express my feelings in order? Why do I use so many “I”s? It’s because I’m an egoist or i’ts because english isn’t my native language? Or it’s normal? It’s dumb that I’m writing it here, but hell, it’s just my need. Talk to me………. HELP
4 comments
I don’t think that enjoying life is so much about enjoying others as it is about enjoying yourself. I was made fun of when I was a kid so I am often not talkative to strangers, because I expect them to be negative as well.
To be honest, I don’t think that I could really give you any advice other than to be comfortable with yourself. If others don’t like you, then fuck ’em. If you want to be nice to others, go ahead, but don’t expect them to be nice back.
Thank you. I wasn’t expecting any replies to be helpful, but yours is. I didn’t even express a specific problem here, but you gave me the cure. It’s great. Thanks. I’m gonna live my life by the way I want to. I’m going to find a girlfriend that will be fine with this. I made myself a douche in this note but I’m really not. I just wanted to throw something out as I have noone to speak in my life.
It’s probably a lot of pressure from trying to fit in that is causing this. Just be true to yourself and the right people should come along. I wish you the best.
Social interaction can be difficult. For years of my life I lived with minimal social interaction and that was how I was happy. I kept myself busy with reading, exercise, building computers and other interests. I have found also that I don’t always like social interaction. Some people bore me, others irritate me when they don’t know how to mind their own business, others irritate me when they ask me questions I don’t like to answer and so forth. So I do a lot of things on my own. I am happy that way. I have fond out I really only need a few friends. I don’t need to have tons of people around to be happy. But good social skills come in handy at times. And most people are Good when you get past the first layer. but yeah. there are some assholes out there. those are the ones I avoid. ha ha