It’s hard to imagine after a month of this calm, now that the time has come, I can feel so afraid. Standing at the edge like this, I get it. My suicide is not impulsive. It has been carefully planned. A promise to myself I’ve been making for a year. I will be gone by June. The time has come. I’m in my last week and staring death in the face, I feel this anxiety. But then I think of living, just one extra day past my promise, and the panic is just as great. The guilt, oh the guilt. I’m so sorry for them. But I have got to go.
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I hope you find your peace, whether you choose to hold on or let go.
Try living in today and dont worry about tomorrow nor the week to come. Remember some promises are mean to be broken and maybe give yourself one more extra day and see what happens. You might be fearful and anxious but time is always pushing you forward and if you miss a stop well be curious and see how the next one looks.