Good luck to us..

Life has always pushed me right to the edge and sometimes over the edge but just enough to let me cling. It’s hard its exhausting I have given up and sometimes still want to. I don’t really love myself or care about myself, I just try to make decisions with my best interest or to my benefit I guess. But I’m empty and inside me is a pain so great that everyday lately it’s a battle to try to keep it boxed up. It sucks to be this way to be aware of the pain your hiding and feel numb to not care if you live or die. To want to save someone and know that you would sacrifice yourself in order to do it. To miss someone so much that it hurts down to your very core. And I can’t talk to anyone about this really because all they tell me is that it’s not worth it that I need to let go to get over it. But it hurts this is how I feel and and I deny those feelings but they are still there. idk what to do, but I wish myself luck and others that may be in a similar situation .