It seems like I’ve went as far as I can go. I’m at the end of the road. I don’t have any specific plans, though, just that I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m depressed and lonely. I have no job and I have no friends. I will probably be homeless in about two weeks because the rent went up where I live and I can’t afford it. I have no family members near me. We’re not close anyway. I take medication for anxiety and depression but they’re not helping. I’ve also been diagnosed with PTSD and Asperger’s Syndrome. This makes it very difficult to meet people because of social awkwardness. I have a history of drug and alcohol abuse so I go to AA/NA meetings. I haven’t made friends there yet, though. No one has so far asked me out to coffee or the park or brunch or anything. I’ve been playing the hermit role for some time now. I guess I’ve gotten tired of it. In Japan they would call me “hikikimori.” In any language I’m still a loser, freak, weirdo, outcast. And I’m tired.
5 comments
I don’t know where you live, but where I used to live I jump started this group called double-trouble. It is NA/AA for people with a psychiatric or learning disorder. It is much better for people like us, maybe you could see if there’s one in your area. I have a brother with Asperger’s so I know how hard that can be.
Hello there ^_^ I can see your situation…but life can be cruel and bitter most of the time and that’s why you have to fight back. Not physically but you know what I mean. :p show the best of you . Everyone has something special about them,including,You. So if people can’t accept you for who you are then they are not even worth your time . Being socially awkward can be funny sometimes too. And it’s okay to feel that way but if it makes you feel better *virtual hug* and have a little confidence in you .
Sorry that you were given the life you have…can’t you go on social assistance? I don’t have any mental or physical issues, have a job, friends, family I get along with but am lonely since it’s hard to get a date where I am also I’m picky. Life seems quite pointless when you have no one to care for or who cares for you.
Rent’s pretty high in my city as well…wages have not kept up at all…I’m lucky to be where I am but it is expensive here. My salary isn’t much but it’s enough. I wonder how some people can survive making less than I do. And we have seriously disgusting, decrepit apartment buildings (I don’t live in one thankfully) and I couldn’t actually afford to live in them cause they’re so expensive. Will hopefully be able to afford a house in a year and I might get a better job on top of that.
Best of luck in whatever you do, your situation sounds pretty bleak-if I was in your position I’d look for govt assistance…or maybe find a way to end it all, not giving advice, just saying what I’d do.
You will survive you were born to have a purpose. I know your tired of it all…. we all are. We have all dreamed of going and sliding the blade down our wrist, downing that bottle of pills we hide in our drawer, or taking that rope and letting your body dangle from the ceiling fan. But were here for a reason. That’s why when you find your potential you feel free. Free from all of the disappointed eyes and self-conscious thoughts. and your not a loser or a freak. I work at a haunted house called ‘Fear Factory’ and we are all freaks because we in-brace it. Your weird because your original, and being an outcast just means…well whatever you want it to mean. Just try to start a small conversations. You have a 60/100 chance of finding something in common with a person you meet. Greet each-day with enthusiasm. Maybe get a pet to cheer you up. Do some volunteer work just to see what you have to live for. Just please don’t die. We’re all alive but not fully we’re just…Undead
@ Undead, What! I sooo want to go to the Fear Factory! How is it?