Live.

I know what you’re thinking. ‘It’s another girl trying to stop us from thinking about suicide’. ‘Nothing she’s going to say is going to stop me’. You’re right. There is nothing I can say or do to stop you from this. I don’t know what you’ve all been through; I definitely have no right to tell you that you shouldn’t commit suicide. But what I can tell you is that you’re not crazy. You’re not exaggerating. But most of all, you’re not alone. You’re probably thinking, ‘I’ve heard all this, there’s no point, she doesn’t understand’. You’re right, I don’t understand. But there is something I do understand. That you’re all broken. That you’ve all been through something or a lot of things that have made you think there’s no point of living. You feel at times when you’re happy; you’re drawn back into the sorrows and the pain of life. You haven’t felt happiness since forever. You want that feeling desperately but fear and the past is keeping it from getting to you. I know that living is the hardest challenge in your life right now and each day is full of suffering and decisions. The one decision we all face and is the hardest one to answer, “Should I keep living?’ For most the answer is no, because they feel as if there’s nothing to live for. This is where we all can relate. We feel as if every day is a battle just to stay alive. Why live if all we do is suffer? The question always crosses our minds. The answer is in the question. Suffering is why we’re still alive. We’ve all gone through something that has left us scarred and unable to forget. It left you with the forever ongoing pain, which everyone knows as memories. When I was twelve, I lost my father to suicide. A year later, I lost my mother. All I have left of them is photos, videos and something that’s so beautiful, but painful at the same time. The memories I had with them. It still kills me every day because I don’t just want things to remember them by, I want them. I want them here with me but I can’t have them. But I do what both of they couldn’t, I chose to live on. Even though how I felt, how much I wanted to join them, I survived through what seemed impossible. I don’t want you to think I told you that so you can feel sorry for me, I told you this because I want you to know I’m still living. I’m still breathing and my heart is still pumping. We all have done something that makes us the strongest people alive right now, we’ve all survived this far. We’re all still breathing, some just barely but you still all have life in you. You are all strong and brave for sharing your stories, I find that the hardest thing to do; to let someone in. You’ve all done the impossible, and survived through hell. I know most of you think I’m just another person that pretends to care for you and thinks they understand what you’re going through. The truth is I will never understand you because I’m not you. What I do understand, is that you’re dying a slow and painful death called reality. The truth is what we all fear as it is the cruellest aspect of life. The only way to move on in life is to accept the truth. The truth is what’s holding you back in life. It’s what’s keeping you from being happy. It’s the thing hate the most but it’s the only way out. As I said, I’m not writing this to force you to stop you from taking your own life. I have absolutely no say in what you choose to do. I’m writing this so you can do what takes more strength then we can carry. I’m asking you to accept you. To accept everything in your life for what it is. There’s a reason for all of us to live. What you have to do is find that reason and keep fighting until you find you’re true happiness that you lost when you lost yourself. Find yourself in something or someone. Find a reason to keep living. You are all stronger than you think because you’re still here today. Please, I have faith in you all. I know there’s a good future for all of you. Don’t fight it, just let it happen. I see you all as beautiful people, and I notice you. I know you’re there. I see you. I care for you. I am here for you. I honestly care about each and every one of you. We’re all human and share the same blood. You’re all people who have something special about them, don’t let yourself become nothing more than a just memory.