So tired

I’m struggling. My brain is in fog. I feel like I’m grasping to get a hold of my thoughts but they slip through my fingers like smoke. I can’t focus, I can’t think, I can’t concentrate. I’m meant to be writing for a big project, but just can’t get a hold. I know that it is in my head somewhere but it may as well be covered in lard for all I can get a grip on it. I know I can be so much better than this but it is all so exhausting, I am tired and I am lost like this. I just want to crawl in to bed, I want to stop trying to get hold of things and just let go. Urges to self harm just to get some clarity in my mind are strong, but I don’t have the energy to deal with the fall out from those around me. Just so tired and want to let go.