I am laying in bed crippled by fear. There is nothing that can stop my brain from reminding me that I have something new coming up, something new to be afraid of. Why do I always feel like this? Scared, anxious… Hopeless.
Thoughts of “what ifs” and “what will happen” haunt my everyday movements. I can’t get out of bed, I won’t. It is just to hard. I am safe here, happy if I don’t let myself think.
Every little thing is hard.. If I shower, go to the shop, go for a stroll into town, will I get a panic attack? What if I do and I can’t handle it? What if I end up going crazy? What if I faint and die?
I know you must be thinking how ludicrous I am sounding, but if you lived inside my head, felt as though the whole world stood and stared, gawking laughing judging, you would feel like this too.
I don’t want to live like this, I have tried to fight it but it is just too hard.
1 comment
I know how you feel. Terrified and crippled by fear. I’m 14 and have severe panic disorder. It was so bad I couldn’t go to school without having at least one panic attack. I got sent home everyday. I never wanted to go anywhere or do anything. I was too scared. I wanted everything to end too until I talked to my teacher. She’s my safe place. Please don’t give up. You’re not alone. I care about you! If you need anything or if you need to talk text me 12763951230. I know what it’s like to be in your position. I know the feeling of dying and going crazy and just know you’re not alone.