So I feel I have hours maybe even just minutes left to live in my life. I am to the point where days are not even possible anymore. I have given up. My body is done and my mind is done. I can’t live through any of this anymore. I have everything in place and all I have to do is do my first step and then the last step that would finish me off for good. At this point I feel the only thing or person that could stop me is that one girl. Who I thought I could trust and tell everything to, to the girl I thought we where going to spend the rest of our life together. And that I finally had someone in my life who truly did care about me. I know most of you will say get over it it’s just a girl. But you have no clue. On of my parents is very ill and goes to the doctor atleast 3 times a week cuz there are so many things wrong with her, and so much more. I have been through so much in my life and have seen a lot of things I should not have seen. And so much more. And I am only 20. And my bday was last week and I ran away on it cuz I didn’t want to kill myself on my bday and I ran away the next cuz I didn’t want to do it the day after. But now I feel I am ready to go to the other side.
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Can’t say get over it. I know I haven’t been able to. Nor I will. She is my one. The thing that keeps me getting up everyday is that I fear of an eternity without her. I fear going to limbo and be there for the rest of my timeless existence without her. I don’t know how to live without her but I don’t know how to go without her either.
For some they might just be a girl. For us they are all. Our world, our life and dream.
If you are still around, good luck. I hope you find peace in any decision you take.
I am still here but the time is getting closer I feel
I’d like you to consider sticking around a bit longer. Some time, some one is gonna type something really inspiring… And I’d hate for you to miss it, sincerely
I agree. If you want to talk adaluz.figueroa.ramirez@gmail.com or skype me figxx13. Think about it.
I have waited days and weeks. Nothing is changing.
i’m 20 too and i am as well ready to go to the other side
I know how you feel. I am close
I am pretty much at the point. I think at 10 is when I will start the process
I keep thinking this girl and things are fixed or will be. But things keep getting worse and worse and time is almost here
girls say things they mean when they say it. then they get scared or nervous and can take them back. they may mean to take it back, but they may not really mean that they don’t want or didn’t mean what they said. guys do it too. and that’s not necessarily something to end your life over. girls and people come and go in your life and sometimes it’s for a reason and it’s not always going to be easy, but it can get easier. somewhere there is someone out there that cares about you and wants you to be safe and not do anything to yourself. you may or may not know who that person is yet, but they’re out there and i mean that. you just have to hold in and keep your chin up, because i can and will get better before you know it.
She was the person and girl for me. She was always there for me. But then I fucked it up and messed things up just like I do with everything else in my life
if you messed up with her and she left, then was she really the one? the person that is the one for you wont leave when you mess up because they wont care if you mess up.
She is still here but doesn’t want to date me or like anything anymore it feels like
then maybe she isn’t “the one” for you. maybe she’s supposed to be in your life, but not on a personal level.
She is suppose to be here in my life I know she is
maybe she is, but just as a friend and someone else is “the one”
No she is and I know it and not just as a friend
Dude… GIRLS MOVE ON!!! That’s LIFE!!
My wife just left me.. Who the fuck are you trying to kid with all this wanting to die shit!!
You know what.. Whatever bye
Really man. Did you even read that shit I wrote. No you didn’t
I’d say give it a bit more time. A bad breakup i had (which wasn’t the worse i’ve been through btw) took me something like a year and a half to function like a human being again and 3 to even consider dating again. In total it took me 3 1/2 years to get over it+6 months of dating someone (she understood the situation, thank god). I was also sure she was the one, yet years later another “the one” appeared. And she left me in a worse way that the one better (which i didn’t think possible).
Why am i saying this? because you don’t sound like you want to die, you sound like you want her back and don’t want to get over the fact that she left. She might try to comeback eventually or maybe not, but hey, in relationships… shit happens. People leave, die, lie to you, cheat on you, it just happens. I don’t believe in that mumbo jumbo crap like “there is someone out there for you she wasn’t the one” since i’ve become cynical, but hey, you never know.
Once you are ready for it (more willing than ready i’d say) you might get to know someone else that will blow her completely out of your mind or at least let you keep her as a nice memory that won’t hurt you like it does know. And maybe she’ll stay. Maybe not. But you’ll never know if you don’t stick around to find out.
It’s not just all about her
Didn’t say she was, i did read your whole post, but since she’s your only apparent reason to change your mind you make it sound like it’s mostly her, sorry if i misread that. I know i might be wrong but since you mention almost seeing a family member kill himself and one of your parents being terribly sick, wouldn’t your death do more damage than anything? i mean, you are still pretty young (which doesn’t mean your pain isn’t valid tho, i have to clarify that so you don’t take it the wrong way). Many things can change in a couple of years, specially when you are younger.
Let me read through again just to be sure…
Uh…yeah..read it.. Why?
You need to get a grip man!
Look look…I care! I really really do.. But look at it from my point of view. You are talking about killing yourself over shit I went through 10 times over, years ago. What I’m dealing with now is hard, but I can put it aside long enough to tell you here right now that if you are still alive.. LIVE CAN GO ON!!
Who’s stopping you?
Unless I’m just sadly mistaken.. Maybe I shouldn’t be giving you advise. You can make that choice yourself
It’s not just her
*LIFE CAN GO ON
That’s 3 fucking times I’ve read your shit bro.. 3!!
Ok.. I’m sorry about your parent. I’m not gonna tell you to “just get over it” no.. But I will tell you to be a whole lot fucking stronger than that. Ok so you saw the raw side of life? You want suicide to be your metal of honor, your birth right being only death?
So it’s not just a girl right? Then what is really killing you cuz you aren’t even trying to stay strong for your family.
I have to move away from home, this town.. And it’s because I can’t face my family anymore. I’m already out on my own, but because I can’t stop crying around them cuz they remind me of my wife, so I have to move on and get away. But NOT DEATH! It’s just not the answer. You aren’t suppose to go out that way. I’m serious
I am sorry about everything your going through. It’s just idk I have some much going on. I fell like a failure at like and can’t get anywhere. I try and try but just go no where. I can’t pass college classes, I have to have surgery on my foot and everything else
You are 20!!! These days 20’s should be synonym for crappy. Specially when it comes about love. I crapped myself all over my relationship, why? Cuz I still can’t handle some shit. Do I believe I’ll stop loving her? NO. Im a romantic helpless, but I don’t have a problem with that. Will I get over it. HELLS YEAH, in time. Some days suck, some suck even more. She is just a portion of my problems as she might be a portion of yours. If you are able to be in college means you are blessed in ways you should be thankful for. Life is not an easy ride. Either you start realizing that or you just check out.
Honestly, as said above, you don’t want to kill yourself. You don’t want to die. You just can’t deal with your shit. Your choices.
I ask this to myself every time I’m going nuts “Give me courage to accept the things I can’t change and change those I can”. You just need to realize that this is just beginning and it will get better and worse. Life ain’t a steady line.
You have all the right to feel like crap… But breathe, it’ll be alright, and if not. You will still have the chance to kill yourself any other time.
Hey dude,
In order to be truly happy, you can’t put your happiness or faith in people. Most people you meet aren’t kind, and pretty much suck. If you go through my posts, you’ll see one titled, depression from a girl? It’s an earlier post of mine, and I stated almost the same as you in it. It’s about two years ago now, and while I miss her dearly, she is gone and won’t ever return.
Don’t just end your life because of a girl (or guy if you’re a girl reading this). Truth is, you have to find others that can make you feel that same way. Have to find things that make you feel the slightest bit better about life.
Yeah, if you’re wondering, I’m depressed, just like you. Over people? Sometimes. Sometimes it’s just life, and I have no idea why. While at this exact moment, I don’t want to kill myself, the thought has entered my mind quite a few times. Rather than just sitting and feeling sorry for myself, I’m trying to do something, anything, that will put me in a better state. I encourage you and others to do the same. Your depression won’t go away, but it may help a little bit.
If you want, feel free to email me: brl.cents@gmail.com
Thank all of you for the help and the thoughts tonight. I am still here and have been trying my best to stay strong. Thank you again
I wanted to check on you and make sure you are ok. I’m glad you are still fighting.
Keep that strength and your head up
Thanks but I am leaving for awhile. I get yelled at for no reason by my own family
I am not doing very good right now. I pretty have ran away. Right now I am a few hours away from home sitting in a rest area about to try to sleep
Guy.. You haven’t run away.. You are searching for answers on your own. When you find them you will return. Grown men don’t run away from home …they move forward in life. They go where they must, like you have. You are not a kid anymore. If your family is nothing but a prison, then stay gone for your own well being. Clear your head, out there wherever you find yourself. When your mind is clear, home won’t be as far away. You’ll see!
Good luck!
Thanks and yea
Well I decided to come home but as soon as I am almost there shit goes south again and I am done