I spend a lot of time thinking about the future. Wondering of ill travel the world, make it in broadway, get married and have kids, or give up  before I get the chance.
I wonder what what it is inside of me that makes my body ache and makes my mind fill up with hate. I don’t know how to stop it. I know that I should probably get help. Tell a parent. But in reality if I tell them all that goes on in my head they’ll send me away because “I’m a danger to myself.” And I wouldn’t be able to handle that. I also think if I tell my parents they’ll try to send me to therapy, which we simply cannot afford.
Sometimes i I feel like I’m outside of my body watching me self waste away. I’m not sure how to stop this. A friend has told me that I need to do thing that will take my mind off of it but I have no idea how to do that of what to do.
I dont really like sharing my feelings with my friend and family because it just seems like a burden you know?
ive become very paranoid lately. When I’m getting ready for bed at night I feel like someone’s behind me watching everything I do. It scares me really. I also think that everyone secretly hates me and makes fun of me when I’m not around. Stupid, I know.
If you’ve read this far..thanks.
I wish you the happiest of days.