I was raised by two them, so those are some — not all — of the people I have sought out. Thankfully, I was spared the full impact and have really amazing friends, many of whom I’ve known for 40 years.
I had a friend who was domineering, kept phoning me and pushing me to do what he wanted, in the end I had to stop seeing him, I know it’s difficult if it’s your parents and I believe soon to be ex-husband, but can your friends help in any way, I know you have made the decision to go and I respect that, don’t let it be just because of those narcissists.
Narcissists are the scum of the earth in my very honest opinion; among are the psycho- and sociopaths, and can´t forget all so lovely sadists either.
When did it all come to this, when did the evolution chose to allow us to have so fucked up brain capacity to permit these character traits – whether congenital, environmental or by upbringing – to create such a horrific people to have the ability to maim such a senseless havoc towards others.
World has too much cruelty for the very people with opposite traits – sensitive folks with empathy for example mainly I suppose. So it´s not quite hard to understand why so many choose death in these evil times.
Psychopathic/antisocial persons make up four precent of the earths population. I say about 80% of our problems are caused by them. Psychopaths are nothing but cowards. Even if you aren’t afraid of them or their nonsense, they’ll still cause nothing but problems.
And it´s not even about people whom are a fucked up in their head in a negative and abusive way with some mental illness; it´s just the fact that probably 80% of people lack the skill for empathy, sympathy, compassion and love towards other human beings without being a clinically mentally disturbed in any way – they just seem like the norm these days.
lovinglife, I don’t believe in good or ‘evil’. Good/evil are a complex. Nothing more. counting down the years, care to elaborate? Before this trails off?
I agree with you takeeverything (check out James Blunt’s piece, “I’ll Take Everything,” if you get a chance). I don’t believe in evil, either. I do, however, believe in good. So maybe that’s what evil is — a lack thereof. Lovinglife makes an interesting observation — that lack of empathy is at the heart of narcissism and yes, it is a clinical condition. (There are numerous other traits, as well. They are in the DSM and there are informal descriptions on the internet.) Narcissists are also master manipulators. My mother is such a person and has many people, though not everyone, sold on her act. But then again, if you didn’t buy into her scheme you didn’t last long in her world. My father was a man of agonizing empathy, but filled with such rage (he was brutalized by his mother while his father did nothing) that every day someone had to bear the brunt of his wrath. Part of her manipulation was to make sure to set off my father on those random occasions when he wasn’t screaming at and berating somebody. She always had to look like the good guy/victim. My father died in 1996 and it’s interesting to see how she’s had to adjust to being without a patsy. She plays the grieving widow like an Oscar-winner, but really, she’s a ****. Thank God I can say this here because if I were to put this on Facebook…
Real life evil is basicly just a heightened sense of narcissisim. I named my account take everything after the Hole song “Violet”. Hole is Courtney Loves band, she was the wife of Kurt Cobain. I don’t particularly listen to them but I like that song.
My mother is similar, but clueless. I don’t know whhere she is now, I’ve forgotten about her, her name, her face, everything. I think I used to say I would. Since I left my “home” town I haven’t thought about her at all. I’m nineteen and I’ve been living alone since I could.
Although that sounds tragic from my perspective as a 50 year-old mother, I am also the daughter of a wire monkey mother. You are probably going to fare alright by having taken these very painful steps at such a young age.
And in Finland too where I´m from. The whole world in that regard I suppose, but I rather think of not worshipping; but the way of survival of the fittest – aggressive and abusive people have more power, than the kind and the good.
So sad that studies show that most of the nation leaders, company owners, politicians and overall people with high status have these negative traits abundantly. It´s almost as if it´s a requirement for a success in this twisted society.
Hopefully future generations are – and I believe they will be – more humane and understanding. At least it has been observed by how they are thinking and acting about nature and its vulnerability – hence proving of having a conscience about their actions and clearly having an empathy towards other living beings as well.
Which is probably why narcissists do not typically commit suicide or experience suicidal ideation. It’s those of us who grow up with them, work for them, etc.
There’s a young guy where I work who is so confident, just watching him makes me jealous, he works-out, a sure fire sign of some-one in love with himself, he struts around, without a care and I’m sure he talks about me behind my back.
Ha! Nias, now who’s being narcissistic?! … I’m just busting your chops. Get me the little butt plug’s address and I’ll have some friends pay him a little visit. They’ll straighten him out.
But why is he like that and I’m not, He goes out on his days off drinking, I sit and watch antique shows on tv, he has girlfriends, I’m on my own, he wears trendy clothes, I wear a bow tie(only joking) but you get the picture.
Yeah, my mum, god rest her soul, brought me up like that, she’d turn the tv over at the least sight of a kiss that lasted too long, I’ve change a lot with the few girlfriends I’ve had but I suppose once a prude, always a prude..ha
Do I sound obsessed, of dear, I have always wanted to be like that, when I was twenty or so I got dumb-bells but remained skinny, I was ahem when I lost my virginity, I struggled to be heard let alone be popular like him, yes, I’m jealous, he’s not great looking but a damn site better then me, and I saw he’s girlfriend, damn again, he’s just better than me, and he’s still young, I’m 45, shall I go on?
I think everyone knows that narcissists are the scum of the earth. I have always kind of wondered. How do narcissists feel about being around other narcissists. I can’t imagine they would get along. They are far too competitive and it would be a constant battle for dominance. I suppose they could have shallow symbiotic relationships as long as both of them are gaining status and prestige and power from associating with the other. I just feel like they would be constantly resentful and jealous of each other, and even if they could coexist on the surface, underneath they would hate each other lol
I have always found the idea somewhat paradoxical though. That they can love themselves so much yet would probably hate pretty much anyone else they encountered that was like them. Like if you somehow were able to clone a narcissist but gave the clone a different but equally attractive appearance. Then introduced the two, and somehow got them to spend a significant amount of time together. Would they hate each other? lol
I knew a little narcissist whonwas always try to transfer his problems. He always used transference as a defence mechanism, he actually always came off quite angry amd desperate.
@nias, that´s exactly what you need to be, or have had born with at least a golden spoon up in your arse so everything is handed to you. jk..;)
@Counting Down the Years, could it be because narcissistic people don´t obviously see any flaws in themselves, they always find someone else to blame and draw energy from that. Narcissistic people are all about being above everybody else: domination, controlling and manipulation – as you said before too – are the main methods in usage for creating their own absurd universe of pretentious and puny lives.
They adamantly maintain a certain perfect picture of themselves and their lives till the day they die. If their little bubble of an extraordinary and a grandiose lives should somehow burst wide open and they were lowered among the ordinary folks then suicide would probably be an option for them – only option even.
But these things are not black and white in any way – not even grey – so can’t really generalize anything I´ve said; just my two cents on the matter, still. Sorry for the typos and grammar.
Checked my arse, no golden spoon so that’s the reason I’m where I am in life, but yes, I only have myself to blame, to much self pity instead of being proud of who I am, the other guy is comfortable with himself in a way I never was; depression is my weak spot at moment oh and did I mention…
I could have almost made a bet of all my belongings that you sincerely have no spoon up in your arse and never have had been. But that´s not the reason for anything – well maybe chances could have been better – what about depression. You think that would have come anyway even if you would have had it all as a kid and youngster till the age you are now; would you be any happier?
What are your feelings about that, are we in control, or is it our environment or our mind – perhaps all together but still.
It´s clear you lack a self-esteem and a self-worth completely and that is worth a tear; all those aspects accommodated with depression – I can only imagine. Oh, and what did you had to mention….
I doubt it, even as a child I had a happy home life but was bullied at school so I felt depressed, during my life I’ve had good times that I’ve enjoyed, can’t deny that, but under it all I’ve felt empty, even after going out for a great evening. Now things have spiralled downwards, and I don’t want to mention anymore as I know it’s self pity to someone with there own problems.
Nias, it´s a self-pity and we all have it here more than enough, but we all are sharing our stories here and trying to assist others with their personal problems as much as we can – basically SP is a pity-party site for all I know – so it´s essentially a good thing. I doubt anyone who visits this site regularly has a perfect life and comes here just to stop by to help others.
I feel so sorry if things have spiraled down for you, emptiness inside is a horrid feeling – I´m starting to have it too and it´s beginning to be insufferable. I feel a hollow void starting to emerge around my heart because I feel so much for your hardships.
Never think you´re not worthy enough to mention more about your life and your problems. You´re a sweet, caring, empathetic and very unselfish person from what I´ve read your comments and posts. Don´t ever forget that.
No one never need apologize for anything posted on a thread which I started. There is no judgment here. Say whatever you want, like, maybe you think your mother’s a ****.
What a thread you started, there have been cunts in my life 18yrs ago who hurt me but I’ll struggle to talk about it, and I really will, they destroyed me, they made me what I am today. It’s trying to get over it, when I think of what happened I want to die don’t know why I didn’t back then, I struggle to tell my psychiatrist about it. Now I live with depression and paranoia. It’s a hard life, we all have our problems.
Little by little, nias. Looking at it won’t kill you. Rather, quite the opposite is true. If everyone on this website were free in our “real lives” to speak openly and honestly about feelings, perceptions, and experiences, well, we wouldn’t be on this website, now would we? We swallow our truths because we’ve been taught that candor = death from the outside. Instead, we live lives of choking hypocrisy and are left wanting to kill ourselves. Again, say anything you want here. If anyone judges you, I’ll delete his/her post.
This’ll be may last post, some people wanted me out of the job I had 18yrs ago and ganged up on me, snide remarks and comments, ‘useless’,’idiot’; people I thought I got on with turned, being bullied at school was bad but this wasn’t meant to happen, ever since then I’ve been paranoid that it’ll happen again, I’m scared, add to this my long term depression and emptiness, the migraines, the ugliness of myself, the job I hate, the loneliness and lack of love and not ever being wanted, I hate it all and don’t want to continue.
Didn´t see this comment before answered to the other one of your comments. I´ll talk to you a bit later, can´t right now, if it´s ok? Do not leave us..
You will continue, even if it takes every cell in your body. You´ve had major hardships in your past, but if any fiber of your body is longing for more life and at times a thought about the pleasure of waking up even with a smallest positive smile upon your face it´s worth it – it´ll soon turn into a full blown deserved happy smirk.
Life is cruel place and that’s a fact but you are letting other people dictate your worthiness and how you perceive yourself in this world; you must life for you and no-one else. It´s tough and potentially impossible with your history to heal the very wounds of your broken up life.
I hope you have changed your job already, if not, then leave it now; it´s consuming your essence as a human being. You know already not to let bullies or other negative people to judge and torment you, but it´s not your fault – and never was in any way. This is obvious for you, but just thought to say it once more if it made any difference.
About your emptiness, depression, lack of love among other distressing issues, I can´t help but by saying start some things all over; change your life towards other direction. Move to another city, get a new job, get a pet, go for a walk into the woods and nature, enjoy the sun and the warm breeze in your face in the morning – eat your favorite foods. It might get a bit better by starting with some small first; learning to appreciate the littlest of the wonders of the world first.
Take care and really hoping to hear from you again. Peace and good luck with your decision.
Radical Idea: Quit worrying about other peoples opinions and focus on yourself. You can’t control what other people think, do or say. You can only control you.
I know it’s a little late to reply to this now because we started this thread yesterday, but for everyone out there reading this, I just want you to know that psychopaths, sociopaths, extreme (clinically, diagnosed) narcissists, antisocial personality disorders, etc; aren’t really people anyway. So always remember that when you’re talking to one, rather, ‘it’, and don’t think otherwise, they’re just a waste of time.
that is a very good point to remember takeeverything. Some might find that view overly harsh but the thing to remember is that people with those severe disorders also DON”T see the rest of us as people either. So really the only way to deal with them is to try to do so on their own level, and always try to remember that or you will be exploited, abused, drained, and then discarded.
I knew of family that had antisocial traits in abundance. There is nothing I could ever write down here that would say a quotient of anything I’d ever have to say about the deplorable lurches. Needless to say, I’m on a suicide forum.
I knew a sociopath.
The son of this revolting, sloven demented fuckpile of a pathetic excuse for a man was somone I knew personally for a few years, who had always been strange when he was younger, but as he got a little older, he leveled himself out, not without the help of constant drug use, he had always had problems with anger due to his sadistic parasitic little brother whom his father failed to raise, all of the kids experienced a levit of being ignored by this fat, lazy fuck, but he levels of denial in their house were absolutely ridiculous and unfathomable. Even self evident absolute truths become heart dropping petty quarrels with no victor, every day, day after day after day , grueling hell. One day aforementioned older son had sex with a thirteen year old girl (he was nearly legally an adult) being “drunk” was his excuse, always having had used drugs as an excuse for his stupid behavior, however, he holds his head when drunk, as I had learned from drinking with him on earlier occasions. He was modestly popular, seemingly funny sometimes, you knew he was wierd, (and annoying) but despite that people would give him a chance, he was a fun guy to be around who genuinely was aware that something was wrong with him and didn’t cause as many problems as his other family members, and tryed to be normal. No one was surprised when it happened however, because as I mentioned, the level of denial was so severe that even though no one said anything prior to the instance, and it hadn’t entered our minds otherwise, it just become part of his personality that day, and we were like “Yup”. We must have always known inside anyway. He stood there while we were alone in a room one day and talked to me, trying to rationalize his actions. I didn’t say anything, I was typically quiet. He said something about the age gap in his parents marriage, as if that was his actual line of thought, nervous and squirming the whole time I said nothing, unrattled. I didn’t pity him, I didn’t really feel anything as he just stood there in a pathetic bid to at least pretend he thought there wasn’t anything wrong with his actions, it was too pathetic for words. Rape charges were filed, however the thirteen year old girl had apparently willingly had sex with him, which is believable and credible considering the kind of town I lived in and her family, she simply didn’t want to get into trouble with her parents, so she lied and said she was raped. At the time, I felt nothing, but thinking back in it now, I almost vomited. I didn’t feel bad for them either, they’re too terrible and revoltingly disgusting even to pity, and any sympathy would be useless anyway, as you all should already know. There didn’t even seem to be any lasting shame about it, they were like dogs. Sociopaths only want to drink your soul, even if they don’t know it, because they don’t have souls, they are the ultimate creeps. Sociopaths are nothing but spineless maggots. Even if you say nothing about their disgusting twisted behavior because you don’t want to be involved in such disturbing affairs, they’ll simply think they’ve gotten away with something because you didn’t acknowledge them, which is ultimately what some of them seek anyway, acknowledgement, that’s why they are such arrogant grand bastards, because they don’t have souls or anything inside to rely upon and no inner peace to draw upon for strength. So they try to tear you down, fighting for something that they can never have, and they aren’t even aware of that, they never realize they are fighting for something they can never take. So, they never change. They’re the scum of the earth, and complete failures as human beings, and they aren’t worth your time, or anyone elses. They’re more like dogs than people.
No, we don’t think we’re crazy. THEY try to make us think we’re the crazy ones. In those instances where they hold too much sway over us, although we know on some deep level that we’re NOT the crazy ones, when we describe our perceptions we’re told in no uncertain terms that we’re wrong. And crazy.
Told by who? Anyone who befriends them, is an idiot in my mind. I didn’t know they were afflicted upon first meeting them. They typically associated with people who didn’t think ahout their actions.
I was referring to immediate family, parents, in particular. When one is raised in that environment, one seeks out similar types, usually unknowingly. Some ultimately break free, some do not.
71 comments
is your mother a psychopath?
No, just a ****.
*narcissist?
In the clinical sense.
well then, way to go for sufficient self expression…
oh, you did respond.
narcissists and psychopaths are both similar conditions..
She’s more of a sociopath.
Counting down the years, is everyone in your life domineering egotists, if so I can see why you would want to end it just to be rid of them.
I was raised by two them, so those are some — not all — of the people I have sought out. Thankfully, I was spared the full impact and have really amazing friends, many of whom I’ve known for 40 years.
I had a friend who was domineering, kept phoning me and pushing me to do what he wanted, in the end I had to stop seeing him, I know it’s difficult if it’s your parents and I believe soon to be ex-husband, but can your friends help in any way, I know you have made the decision to go and I respect that, don’t let it be just because of those narcissists.
Narcissists are the scum of the earth in my very honest opinion; among are the psycho- and sociopaths, and can´t forget all so lovely sadists either.
When did it all come to this, when did the evolution chose to allow us to have so fucked up brain capacity to permit these character traits – whether congenital, environmental or by upbringing – to create such a horrific people to have the ability to maim such a senseless havoc towards others.
World has too much cruelty for the very people with opposite traits – sensitive folks with empathy for example mainly I suppose. So it´s not quite hard to understand why so many choose death in these evil times.
dude…CONGENITAL FTW! 😉
Fuck the world or For the win? 🙂
Psychopathic/antisocial persons make up four precent of the earths population. I say about 80% of our problems are caused by them. Psychopaths are nothing but cowards. Even if you aren’t afraid of them or their nonsense, they’ll still cause nothing but problems.
And it´s not even about people whom are a fucked up in their head in a negative and abusive way with some mental illness; it´s just the fact that probably 80% of people lack the skill for empathy, sympathy, compassion and love towards other human beings without being a clinically mentally disturbed in any way – they just seem like the norm these days.
lovinglife, I don’t believe in good or ‘evil’. Good/evil are a complex. Nothing more. counting down the years, care to elaborate? Before this trails off?
And sorry for the trailing, just a sensitive subject.
I agree with you takeeverything (check out James Blunt’s piece, “I’ll Take Everything,” if you get a chance). I don’t believe in evil, either. I do, however, believe in good. So maybe that’s what evil is — a lack thereof. Lovinglife makes an interesting observation — that lack of empathy is at the heart of narcissism and yes, it is a clinical condition. (There are numerous other traits, as well. They are in the DSM and there are informal descriptions on the internet.) Narcissists are also master manipulators. My mother is such a person and has many people, though not everyone, sold on her act. But then again, if you didn’t buy into her scheme you didn’t last long in her world. My father was a man of agonizing empathy, but filled with such rage (he was brutalized by his mother while his father did nothing) that every day someone had to bear the brunt of his wrath. Part of her manipulation was to make sure to set off my father on those random occasions when he wasn’t screaming at and berating somebody. She always had to look like the good guy/victim. My father died in 1996 and it’s interesting to see how she’s had to adjust to being without a patsy. She plays the grieving widow like an Oscar-winner, but really, she’s a ****. Thank God I can say this here because if I were to put this on Facebook…
Real life evil is basicly just a heightened sense of narcissisim. I named my account take everything after the Hole song “Violet”. Hole is Courtney Loves band, she was the wife of Kurt Cobain. I don’t particularly listen to them but I like that song.
In other words, “evil is narcissism writ large.” I like it.
My mother is similar, but clueless. I don’t know whhere she is now, I’ve forgotten about her, her name, her face, everything. I think I used to say I would. Since I left my “home” town I haven’t thought about her at all. I’m nineteen and I’ve been living alone since I could.
Although that sounds tragic from my perspective as a 50 year-old mother, I am also the daughter of a wire monkey mother. You are probably going to fare alright by having taken these very painful steps at such a young age.
Wire monkey? Lol. And, no, if I wasn’t already burnt out I wouldn’t be here
loving life, I believe your comments were constructive, and yes, people do behave like that. America worships sociopathic behavior.
Why do American’s love sociopathic behavior, I just don’t get it, in the UK we love to pull people down who get two big for their boots so to speak.
And in Finland too where I´m from. The whole world in that regard I suppose, but I rather think of not worshipping; but the way of survival of the fittest – aggressive and abusive people have more power, than the kind and the good.
So sad that studies show that most of the nation leaders, company owners, politicians and overall people with high status have these negative traits abundantly. It´s almost as if it´s a requirement for a success in this twisted society.
Hopefully future generations are – and I believe they will be – more humane and understanding. At least it has been observed by how they are thinking and acting about nature and its vulnerability – hence proving of having a conscience about their actions and clearly having an empathy towards other living beings as well.
So, hope is not all lost- yet. 🙂
I suppose to be a company boss you need a devil may care attitude, that’s why I have a shitty job, low paid job.
Which is probably why narcissists do not typically commit suicide or experience suicidal ideation. It’s those of us who grow up with them, work for them, etc.
There’s a young guy where I work who is so confident, just watching him makes me jealous, he works-out, a sure fire sign of some-one in love with himself, he struts around, without a care and I’m sure he talks about me behind my back.
Ha! Nias, now who’s being narcissistic?! … I’m just busting your chops. Get me the little butt plug’s address and I’ll have some friends pay him a little visit. They’ll straighten him out.
But why is he like that and I’m not, He goes out on his days off drinking, I sit and watch antique shows on tv, he has girlfriends, I’m on my own, he wears trendy clothes, I wear a bow tie(only joking) but you get the picture.
nias, people here become angry when you pull them down. arrogance is a way of life here
Surely not all, there must be respect for the people who help others in America.
nias, you sound very prudish
Yeah, my mum, god rest her soul, brought me up like that, she’d turn the tv over at the least sight of a kiss that lasted too long, I’ve change a lot with the few girlfriends I’ve had but I suppose once a prude, always a prude..ha
yeah, I was talking about your work. why are you obsessed with this guy?
Do I sound obsessed, of dear, I have always wanted to be like that, when I was twenty or so I got dumb-bells but remained skinny, I was ahem when I lost my virginity, I struggled to be heard let alone be popular like him, yes, I’m jealous, he’s not great looking but a damn site better then me, and I saw he’s girlfriend, damn again, he’s just better than me, and he’s still young, I’m 45, shall I go on?
Yes, of course. But the extent to our being obnoxious is undeniable. And we live in our little world
our own little world. a lot of americans are steriotypically thought of as xenophobic and stupid, and that isn’t based on nothing
*stereotypically
I think everyone knows that narcissists are the scum of the earth. I have always kind of wondered. How do narcissists feel about being around other narcissists. I can’t imagine they would get along. They are far too competitive and it would be a constant battle for dominance. I suppose they could have shallow symbiotic relationships as long as both of them are gaining status and prestige and power from associating with the other. I just feel like they would be constantly resentful and jealous of each other, and even if they could coexist on the surface, underneath they would hate each other lol
*
stars for you
I have always found the idea somewhat paradoxical though. That they can love themselves so much yet would probably hate pretty much anyone else they encountered that was like them. Like if you somehow were able to clone a narcissist but gave the clone a different but equally attractive appearance. Then introduced the two, and somehow got them to spend a significant amount of time together. Would they hate each other? lol
lol exactly
I knew a little narcissist whonwas always try to transfer his problems. He always used transference as a defence mechanism, he actually always came off quite angry amd desperate.
little narcissistic prick
@nias, that´s exactly what you need to be, or have had born with at least a golden spoon up in your arse so everything is handed to you. jk..;)
@Counting Down the Years, could it be because narcissistic people don´t obviously see any flaws in themselves, they always find someone else to blame and draw energy from that. Narcissistic people are all about being above everybody else: domination, controlling and manipulation – as you said before too – are the main methods in usage for creating their own absurd universe of pretentious and puny lives.
They adamantly maintain a certain perfect picture of themselves and their lives till the day they die. If their little bubble of an extraordinary and a grandiose lives should somehow burst wide open and they were lowered among the ordinary folks then suicide would probably be an option for them – only option even.
But these things are not black and white in any way – not even grey – so can’t really generalize anything I´ve said; just my two cents on the matter, still. Sorry for the typos and grammar.
Checked my arse, no golden spoon so that’s the reason I’m where I am in life, but yes, I only have myself to blame, to much self pity instead of being proud of who I am, the other guy is comfortable with himself in a way I never was; depression is my weak spot at moment oh and did I mention…
I could have almost made a bet of all my belongings that you sincerely have no spoon up in your arse and never have had been. But that´s not the reason for anything – well maybe chances could have been better – what about depression. You think that would have come anyway even if you would have had it all as a kid and youngster till the age you are now; would you be any happier?
What are your feelings about that, are we in control, or is it our environment or our mind – perhaps all together but still.
It´s clear you lack a self-esteem and a self-worth completely and that is worth a tear; all those aspects accommodated with depression – I can only imagine. Oh, and what did you had to mention….
I doubt it, even as a child I had a happy home life but was bullied at school so I felt depressed, during my life I’ve had good times that I’ve enjoyed, can’t deny that, but under it all I’ve felt empty, even after going out for a great evening. Now things have spiralled downwards, and I don’t want to mention anymore as I know it’s self pity to someone with there own problems.
Nias, it´s a self-pity and we all have it here more than enough, but we all are sharing our stories here and trying to assist others with their personal problems as much as we can – basically SP is a pity-party site for all I know – so it´s essentially a good thing. I doubt anyone who visits this site regularly has a perfect life and comes here just to stop by to help others.
I feel so sorry if things have spiraled down for you, emptiness inside is a horrid feeling – I´m starting to have it too and it´s beginning to be insufferable. I feel a hollow void starting to emerge around my heart because I feel so much for your hardships.
Never think you´re not worthy enough to mention more about your life and your problems. You´re a sweet, caring, empathetic and very unselfish person from what I´ve read your comments and posts. Don´t ever forget that.
No one never need apologize for anything posted on a thread which I started. There is no judgment here. Say whatever you want, like, maybe you think your mother’s a ****.
What a thread you started, there have been cunts in my life 18yrs ago who hurt me but I’ll struggle to talk about it, and I really will, they destroyed me, they made me what I am today. It’s trying to get over it, when I think of what happened I want to die don’t know why I didn’t back then, I struggle to tell my psychiatrist about it. Now I live with depression and paranoia. It’s a hard life, we all have our problems.
Little by little, nias. Looking at it won’t kill you. Rather, quite the opposite is true. If everyone on this website were free in our “real lives” to speak openly and honestly about feelings, perceptions, and experiences, well, we wouldn’t be on this website, now would we? We swallow our truths because we’ve been taught that candor = death from the outside. Instead, we live lives of choking hypocrisy and are left wanting to kill ourselves. Again, say anything you want here. If anyone judges you, I’ll delete his/her post.
This’ll be may last post, some people wanted me out of the job I had 18yrs ago and ganged up on me, snide remarks and comments, ‘useless’,’idiot’; people I thought I got on with turned, being bullied at school was bad but this wasn’t meant to happen, ever since then I’ve been paranoid that it’ll happen again, I’m scared, add to this my long term depression and emptiness, the migraines, the ugliness of myself, the job I hate, the loneliness and lack of love and not ever being wanted, I hate it all and don’t want to continue.
Didn´t see this comment before answered to the other one of your comments. I´ll talk to you a bit later, can´t right now, if it´s ok? Do not leave us..
You will continue, even if it takes every cell in your body. You´ve had major hardships in your past, but if any fiber of your body is longing for more life and at times a thought about the pleasure of waking up even with a smallest positive smile upon your face it´s worth it – it´ll soon turn into a full blown deserved happy smirk.
Life is cruel place and that’s a fact but you are letting other people dictate your worthiness and how you perceive yourself in this world; you must life for you and no-one else. It´s tough and potentially impossible with your history to heal the very wounds of your broken up life.
I hope you have changed your job already, if not, then leave it now; it´s consuming your essence as a human being. You know already not to let bullies or other negative people to judge and torment you, but it´s not your fault – and never was in any way. This is obvious for you, but just thought to say it once more if it made any difference.
About your emptiness, depression, lack of love among other distressing issues, I can´t help but by saying start some things all over; change your life towards other direction. Move to another city, get a new job, get a pet, go for a walk into the woods and nature, enjoy the sun and the warm breeze in your face in the morning – eat your favorite foods. It might get a bit better by starting with some small first; learning to appreciate the littlest of the wonders of the world first.
Take care and really hoping to hear from you again. Peace and good luck with your decision.
Radical Idea: Quit worrying about other peoples opinions and focus on yourself. You can’t control what other people think, do or say. You can only control you.
Someday, Phil. And when that day comes, I bet I won’t be suicidal.
I know it’s a little late to reply to this now because we started this thread yesterday, but for everyone out there reading this, I just want you to know that psychopaths, sociopaths, extreme (clinically, diagnosed) narcissists, antisocial personality disorders, etc; aren’t really people anyway. So always remember that when you’re talking to one, rather, ‘it’, and don’t think otherwise, they’re just a waste of time.
that is a very good point to remember takeeverything. Some might find that view overly harsh but the thing to remember is that people with those severe disorders also DON”T see the rest of us as people either. So really the only way to deal with them is to try to do so on their own level, and always try to remember that or you will be exploited, abused, drained, and then discarded.
I knew of family that had antisocial traits in abundance. There is nothing I could ever write down here that would say a quotient of anything I’d ever have to say about the deplorable lurches. Needless to say, I’m on a suicide forum.
II knew *a* family, not *of* family, (above)
I knew a sociopath.
The son of this revolting, sloven demented fuckpile of a pathetic excuse for a man was somone I knew personally for a few years, who had always been strange when he was younger, but as he got a little older, he leveled himself out, not without the help of constant drug use, he had always had problems with anger due to his sadistic parasitic little brother whom his father failed to raise, all of the kids experienced a levit of being ignored by this fat, lazy fuck, but he levels of denial in their house were absolutely ridiculous and unfathomable. Even self evident absolute truths become heart dropping petty quarrels with no victor, every day, day after day after day , grueling hell. One day aforementioned older son had sex with a thirteen year old girl (he was nearly legally an adult) being “drunk” was his excuse, always having had used drugs as an excuse for his stupid behavior, however, he holds his head when drunk, as I had learned from drinking with him on earlier occasions. He was modestly popular, seemingly funny sometimes, you knew he was wierd, (and annoying) but despite that people would give him a chance, he was a fun guy to be around who genuinely was aware that something was wrong with him and didn’t cause as many problems as his other family members, and tryed to be normal. No one was surprised when it happened however, because as I mentioned, the level of denial was so severe that even though no one said anything prior to the instance, and it hadn’t entered our minds otherwise, it just become part of his personality that day, and we were like “Yup”. We must have always known inside anyway. He stood there while we were alone in a room one day and talked to me, trying to rationalize his actions. I didn’t say anything, I was typically quiet. He said something about the age gap in his parents marriage, as if that was his actual line of thought, nervous and squirming the whole time I said nothing, unrattled. I didn’t pity him, I didn’t really feel anything as he just stood there in a pathetic bid to at least pretend he thought there wasn’t anything wrong with his actions, it was too pathetic for words. Rape charges were filed, however the thirteen year old girl had apparently willingly had sex with him, which is believable and credible considering the kind of town I lived in and her family, she simply didn’t want to get into trouble with her parents, so she lied and said she was raped. At the time, I felt nothing, but thinking back in it now, I almost vomited. I didn’t feel bad for them either, they’re too terrible and revoltingly disgusting even to pity, and any sympathy would be useless anyway, as you all should already know. There didn’t even seem to be any lasting shame about it, they were like dogs. Sociopaths only want to drink your soul, even if they don’t know it, because they don’t have souls, they are the ultimate creeps. Sociopaths are nothing but spineless maggots. Even if you say nothing about their disgusting twisted behavior because you don’t want to be involved in such disturbing affairs, they’ll simply think they’ve gotten away with something because you didn’t acknowledge them, which is ultimately what some of them seek anyway, acknowledgement, that’s why they are such arrogant grand bastards, because they don’t have souls or anything inside to rely upon and no inner peace to draw upon for strength. So they try to tear you down, fighting for something that they can never have, and they aren’t even aware of that, they never realize they are fighting for something they can never take. So, they never change. They’re the scum of the earth, and complete failures as human beings, and they aren’t worth your time, or anyone elses. They’re more like dogs than people.
*nervous and squirming the whole time,, I said nothing*
He was nervous and squirming, not me, sorry, didn’t proof read.
And we think WE’RE crazy.
No, we don’t think we’re crazy. THEY try to make us think we’re the crazy ones. In those instances where they hold too much sway over us, although we know on some deep level that we’re NOT the crazy ones, when we describe our perceptions we’re told in no uncertain terms that we’re wrong. And crazy.
Told by who? Anyone who befriends them, is an idiot in my mind. I didn’t know they were afflicted upon first meeting them. They typically associated with people who didn’t think ahout their actions.
I was referring to immediate family, parents, in particular. When one is raised in that environment, one seeks out similar types, usually unknowingly. Some ultimately break free, some do not.
I just got off the phone with mine — and see where I am at this moment? In a suicide chat room.