No More; I’m Finished.

Usually, I start out my posts in metaphors and similies because that is how my brain works. That is how I think…constantly making connections and drawing lines. This time, I am going to just full out rant and rave because I’m finished.

I’ve screamed for help. I’ve got to counselors and I’ve gone to friends. I get shut out every time. No one believes me when I say that I am so anxious, scared, and depressed that I would find any way to make it stop. Last night, I sliced my arm open ready to let red run. Unfortunately, I didn’t die. My cut let out only enough to make a small puddle and it clotted. Fucking, really? I can’t even kill myself properly! Anyway, I went to work with my arm bandaged and what do people do? The people whom I told rips it off expecting there to be nothing on my arm. SURPRISE BITCHES!! I have to physically hurt myself for someone to believe that I need help and I need some support?

I’m coming off as whiny and “look at me” but I’m done feeling like I don’t belong! I’m done feeling like I am making the world worse by being in it. I’M JUST SO FUCKING DONE!

Why is it that people get to this point before someone thinks, “Oh, they actually might be in distress?” Why can’t we all just care about one another’s well being and not be judgemental? I’m done with this fucked up society! I no longer WANT to escape! I NEED to escape otherwise I am going to explode with the amount of negative emotions coursing through my damaged veins!