Recovery is horrible….. I managed to get myself trapped in a downward spiral towards hell. During this spiral, I let myself become a monster, a monster who found relief in a razor and comfort in rushing blood, more than human contact. My cravings are a battle. Everywhere I look I see failure and relapse, sharp edges and broken skin…. I find myself thinking back to the nights I would stain my hands crimson and tear my soul apart, piece by piece. Sometimes I catch myself running my hands over the bands of purple covering my thighs and arms, remembering exactly how it felt to tear that specific scar open… I crave the sting and I crave the release, I need this so bad, I am losing my mind.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
1 comment
Breaking an addiction can be a very challenging obstacle to surmount. From what you’ve written, you’re really fighting to keep your vision in front of you, instead of on what’s happened in the past. It’s never an easy journey. Recovery is hard, and yes, it may seem horrible for a time, however, as the days go by, and your wounds heal, you’ll find yourself focusing less on the satisfaction that cutting gave you, and more on the future that you’ve survived to experience. You are not a failure, even if you relapse. If you relapse, dwell on the fact that you tried. Dwell on the fact that you’re getting back up again. I believe in you. I know that you can do it.