254.
Two hundred fifty four days since I first made my decision. I went out that day with my rope to a nature trail that is rarely used nearby my work. One solid tree in the secluded woods was all I wanted. It was my birthday. I began walking down the trail, but slipped at the end of a wooden bridge, wet with the Autumn rain. I touched my head. Blood.
Weighing my options, I pulled myself up and headed back to my car. Where I fell was clearly visible by a nearby parking lot, so instead of risking the possibility that anyone that might have seen me fall come to check on me too soon, I decided to go home and evaluate my head. It almost needed stitches but was fairly minor. I didn’t have enough time to change into better shoes and venture back out, though.
So I waited for the company I was expecting to go eat dinner for my birthday. I told the truth about falling on the trail and busting my head, however I was careful to omit the original motivation. And so far, it’s been 254 days.
I could have gone back out there and finished it. I wish I had.
I will finish it soon enough, though. I always told everyone I wouldn’t live past 30. Doesn’t look like I’ll make it to 29 in a few months. And that’s OK.
Stephanie, it’s Adam… You were right. I’m empty. I guess that means you win after all. I know I promised you I would call when the time came. But I won’t. I’m not going to text you either. I’m not sure how you’ll find out. Maybe someone will gossip about it in passing someday, or a mutual friend may post about it on Facebook. But I won’t be the one to tell you. You have already walked away. Can’t say I blame you. It would be asinine on my part to put you through that last goodbye.
Scarlett, well, I told you so. More than once.
Everyone else, I really have nothing more to say to any of you.
Adieu.