Well, I’m starting Prozac.
Can you OD on it? Maybe that’ll be a good thing to stack up with my Klonopin, Zoloft, Seroquel, and capsule full of Benadryl/whatever other kind of headache medicine I found in the kitchen (if I do decide to OD…I’m iffy about that type of exit). Although since I’m stopping those two drugs and only taking Klonopin as needed, if I were to take a bunch at once maybe it’ll be a complete shocker to my system. Then again, I seem to be unaffected by meds half the time so I’m probably going to fail in an OD attempt.
I’m so frustrated with my fucking psychiatrist. She talks too damn fast and is just a complete nutcase. I do like my psychologist though. She’s got a very soft voice and is very understanding. It only took 5 other shrinks to get to her.
I hate meds. I hate my brain. I hate depression. I hate myself.
39 comments
I’m not entirely sure if you can OD on Prozac, but I was on it for around two years once. If you’re anything like me, Prozac will actually curb your suicidal thought a great deal, but it may also alter your personality beyond recognition.
I’m no professional at all in the matter, but I really hope you don’t try to OD. From the stories I’ve read, OD-ing tends to be ineffective in regards to actually ending one’s life and may permanently damage your system. Which would just make life suck even more….
I’m really glad you found a good psychologist, though! I’m still on the lookout for one…..
Hey there. I’m glad Prozac helped you out a bit.
Yeah I’m glad I like this psychologist. Let’s hope I can keep her….
I wish you the best of luck in finding a doctor. And if anything I’ll be here to listen if you or anyone else needs it.
Thank you very much. And I’m here for you as well. ^^
I’ve read a lot of comments on this post saying how awful Prozac is for you, but anything can be terrible in large quantities. If you stick to a relatively small dosage, you’ll have less side effects. My problem was that my dosage was too high for someone of my size.
I really hope Prozac works for you, though. If not, you can always try Wellbutrin XL. I started taking it a couple months ago, and it’s helped ease my depression and anxiety a good bit, but not enough to noticeably change my personality. Granted, I’m still suicidal (why else would I even be here) but it’s made life not completely miserable.
I think I was on Wellbutrin in the past, but that did diddly squat for me as well.
Yeah, hopefully being on a low dose like I was prescribed, things should go well. I just hope that if they increase it nothing happens.
It all really just depends on the individual. Everyone’s body reacts differently to different drugs. I have a friend who got on Prozac just a few months ago, and so far she’s pleased with the results. It gave her a massive appetite, though, so watch out. XD
@Morcantte: I can attest to that. Some drugs have that effect on people, i remember one of my worst attempts was after some time with paroxetine, even if ti really helped me to see things clearer for the time i was on it. Not related but i loved you avatar btw, had to say it haha.
Thank you very much! I actually drew that myself, haha.
@Morcante: Great job then! i had a hunch tho hehe. Love those stylized/delicate lines on female characters (at least what i can apreciate on the small pic), keep the good work!
Thank you thank you thank you! Vielen dank! I take a good bit of pride in my glorified doodles. XD
Drawing is one of the few things that can keep me happy. I just wish I had enough willpower and perseverance to keep it up… Do you draw?
Well if it keeps you happy just keep on doing it 🙂 i used to draw years ago (which kept me happy too), mostly manga style stuff on a daily basis, but ditched it for music for a couple of years. I’ve been trying to pick it up again for a project i have in mind (if i don’t start doing something i’ll go even more insane haha) but it’s hard after so many years (but fun as well). You consider your avatar doodle level? gosh, a serious work from you must be like at level god or something hahaha.
No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no nono no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
Don’t fucking take that shit. Prozac is notorious, don’t, don’t, just please don’t. Prozac can potentially change the chemistry of your brain forever, so any negative side effects you experience could curse you for life, do not do it! Uuuuuurgh! Resist man! Dammit.
I don’t have the patience for this shit anymore. I could list all the possibilities that may befall you if you decide to be subverted by this drug, side effects, etc; but would it really make a difference? Let me guess, they coarsed you into, “Weeeelll, if nothing else..”
I don’t have the will for this anymore. Anyone? I need another paranoid corporate monster hating persona here to step in for me… I know if this guy makes a decision, we can’t change it, but…
clevername? You’re coming to mind… do you have anything to say to this guy? Anyone? Please..
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Don’t do it man
I tell people I meet in real life about these things, but it’s like they think they have no power at all over what they put into their own bodies… I see it online, all the same. You don’t like it, but do you personally resist anything like this? It’s not like you went to anyone groveling for a solution, down on your knees.
I’m tired.. what’s the point of talking if nobody listens?
Self control! Don’t let them ‘ush’ you into anything… you fon’t sound very HAPPY about this…
*don’t
I haven’t been happy about the whole therapy/medication thing since I started back when I was 13. I actually mentioned to the nurse practitioner aka “psychiatrist” that I was warned not to take Prozac. My mother said her friend was on it…or still is on it, (forgot) and it helped her.
I’m being started on the lowest dose (20mg?), not taking it until I half my Zoloft for three days. Then I start Prozac. I’m supposed to call her if I feel worse. She even said to me while writing the script, “I don’t want you killing yourself”.
Well woopiee doo no shit Sherlock!
The only reasons why I’m willing to try this stuff is
A.) Maybe it will help
B.) Maybe it’ll make me so depressed I finally do kill myself and I won’t be sick anymore (but have to go to hell like my mother always tells me)
C.) Be so fucked up in the head I won’t care about anything anyone does or says anymore and be blissfully ignorant to the world until I die naturally.
I just don’t know anymore. I don’t care. I’m so apathetic to what happens to me now….a fucking airplane could crash into my room for all I care.
Your reasons are the exact embodiment what went through my mind when I tried it… do you have any idea how dark you sound? If you’ve ever read about any so called ‘medication’, read about Prozac… I’m far too discouraged to go on about this, there’s just nothing in it for you, trust me. If nothing has been ”working” so far… even if you don’t care, you can’t possibly be directly willing to allow the situation to get worse, not through inaction but by doing the exact thing you despise… the doctors are just conduits for the profiteers..
I know. I sound very dark. I am dark. I know everyone’s brains are different so maybe I’ll have a good run with this stuff. Then again, maybe I won’t. All the meds I’ve been on have had no effect on me, meaning they didn’t make me better or worse. I’ve stayed the same. Only I went from passive suicidal to “I’m going to fucking slit my throat if things don’t get better soon”. Maybe it’s time that’s really having the effect on me.
I’m not making any sense. My ears are ringing like crazy and I’m just so blank right now I’m starting to ramble
I felt a pain in my chest when i read the word “prozac.”
It’s not my call, but I would recommend thoroughly researching it.
I’ve heard enough about enough pharmaceuticals, and seen the way they’re pushed on people, to the point where someone would have to physically force me to ingest such a thing. But that’s just me. I can’t say that it won’t help you, either, but i personally cannot trust pharmaceuticals. I don’t even like having to take OTC pain meds, but when pain is severe enough, there isn’t really another choice.
Perhaps sometimes we should consider that a permanent personality adjustment could indeed be beneficial. But maybe we don’t need a pill to change who we are and how we think. Maybe we only need to be willing to put in the work to find what needs changing within ourselves, and then make the commitment to continue the efforts required to change it.
I will only advise you to attempt to understand how it’s supposed to work, what it’s supposed to do, and especially, investigate the potential side effects (with anything, not just prozac)… and to also consider information from alternate sources, who are not funded by those encouraging its use.
TL;DR: be careful what you put in your body. Even a lot of the foods people tend to think are “safe,” really aren’t. There’s a lot of bad info out there, and some of it is put there by those trying to sell something.
I hear you. Personality alterations slightly scare me, and I’ll admit I’m a bit nervous going on this medication now.
It’s been tiring trying to work out the kinks to make myself a better person, to find the feeling of being content that I long for…I don’t want to say happy because happiness is a fleeting feeling.
I’m going to heed all of your warnings. If I begin to feel the slightest bit different (in a bad way) I’ll let someone know. I’ll more than likely be posting about stuff here too, so if my posts become significantly darker than usual, it’s the meds (or just my demons getting louder), or if I stop posting all together, I’m either dead or back in the loony bin.
(In this case I’d rather be dead then back in the loony bin, lol).
IMO once you begin to feel even the slightest bit different it’s already too late, because of the way prozac supposedly rewires your brain permanantly.
IMO once you begin to feel even the slightest bit different it’s already too late, because of the way prozac supposedly rewires your brain permanantly.
It doesn’t rewire your brain permanently, nothing is really capable of that. Think of your neuroplasticity, it’s a lot more powerful than you think
Yes, but you’re not going to be who you were before, nonetheless. Anything negative I’ve read portrays miserable cases of people having mental meltdowns, not even being able to perform simple tasks sufficiently again without taking more prozac, comments on their conditions ranged from ‘sad’ to ‘zombie’.
I’ve read some material on the changes invoked in people who take it, maybe not as much material as you, but enough to concede that you have a good point.
But, if we’re always changing, how could you tell which changes were invoked by the Prozac alone? And I believe plasticity refers to the brain’s ability to retain or return to (or compensate for injury, but that’s another topic) it’s natural state or form regardless of external factors. Simply put, you’re not going to be who your were regardless of if you take Prozac or not
Most likely it wouldn’t work. Most modern sleeping pill/antidepressants/etc will cause severe damage instead of killing you. And then you’d be in an even worse place than before.
Yes… I can’t tell you what to do, but you’re going to be handled with kid gloves by Doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, whatever, when it comes to prescribing any given medication, but prozac is seriously bad news. I lost my ability to think clearly after I was prescribed to it, and I didn’t take it for a very long time either.
That “maybe it will make me so depressed or out of it I won’t car anymore/and maybe I’ll finally be able tocommit suicide” line of thought doesn’t work. I wasn’t left carefree or dulled beyond perception, it only brought me more pain and misfortune, and still today it’s an inconvenience.
It could be argued that all change is permanent, because time only moves in one direction. Even if a destructive change can indeed be sufficiently healed, the healing process itself takes time, and is yet another change.
You can’t really “reverse” an alteration in the brain; you can only allow and enhance the body’s natural regeneration capabilities, and hope that it can make enough repairs to regain any lost functionality. But those new pathways will not be identical to the old ones. That’s why people have to literally “relearn” things, when they suffer a traumatic brain injury, or even peripheral nerve damage. Meanwhile, time and previously possible opportunities pass, unavailable.
All of our bodies are constantly producing new cells, as well as killing off old or damaged or “mistake” cells. Altering that with chemicals can indeed have drastic consequences… but if you supplement the right things at the right times, it can be improved or enhanced. Do we really know enough about brain structure and chemistry, to make a pill that can just be indiscriminately issued to everyone who is deemed “depressed?” I rather doubt it. I personally believe that the vast majority of depression comes from an overwhelming series of unfortunate events, and Not a natural “brain imbalance.” And even so, when it is indeed the result of a brain imbalance, we should be looking at what we consume, and toxins in our environments, as a likely suspect, perhaps THE most likely suspect, of the cause.
Pharmaceuticals are a fairly recent practice in human history. How did all those scores of billions of our ancestors manage to survive well enough and long enough to reproduce, without all these relatively brand new designer chemicals? Did such problems even exist back then, prior to all the artificial substances we’ve been encouraged to consume? And all the byproducts of technology being, often literally, carelessly dumped into our ecosystems?
There are a lot of variables and unanswered questions, and that is a significant part, in addition to the greed and marketing factors, of why i tend to remain skeptical and cautious about whose information i deem valid. Even doctors can lie. And if they’re getting bonuses for prescribing experimental treatments, then it would seem that conflict of interest would indeed be a reasonably justifiable suspicion.
Think of a used car salesman, or even a new car salesman; s/he wants you to believe, to feel comfortable, that what s/he is showing you is indeed worthy of your purchase… even if it is a piece of crap… because s/he makes a commission when you buy it, and that is how s/he feeds him/herself and his/her family, and keeps a roof over their heads, and keeps the lights on, and pays insurance, and… you get the idea. It pays for them to hype any product.
Big ******, and all the doctors (often despite their Hippocratic Oath), are not much different, if at all… except that you’re not just trusting them to safely transport you and your family, you’re trusting them with your very cognitive function.
Now, i don’t personally know enough about prozac… but i’ve heard plenty of horror stories, and i know that salesmen want you to think good things about their products, so you will buy them, so they can continue supporting themselves… and there are innumerable examples of humans disregarding the well-being of others, in order to support themselves.
Your mind belongs to you and you alone, and if you want it bad enough, you can indeed control your own thoughts. I prefer this naturalistic “brute force” approach, especially to avoid experimental things, but also because it’s more rewarding to claim control of your own mind, if you do it yourself. Plus, pharmaceuticals are expensive, and you definitely don’t want to become dependent upon them.
I know ODing is risky and most of the time the least effective. Hell if I didn’t have to wait another year to get a gun I probably would have attempted to blow my brains out by now.
It’s true that possibly it isn’t the Prozac alone that would change my mind. It’s just such a scary thing to read all of the side effects of the medicine and wonder if it’s worth it. I think the side effects are worse than the depression itself. But at this point I have to do anything to either get better, or die.
Hopefully it will work for you. The problems with meds is that doctors experiment with them and see which works the best with each patient. With so much technology nowadays you’d think that finding some sort of test to be able to prescribe a personalized drugs for each imbalance/condition, but i assume the research expenses aren’t worth it for the companies to pursue.
Not related but your new nickname sounds like a perfume, lol. Buscetti™ by Gianna 😀
I totally agree with you there. Maybe we should all move to Hawaii, I hear that people who live there are the least stressed.
Ha ha ha, thanks. Buscetti is a little cartoon character I made up…got the name from my sister who pronounced spaghetti wrong 🙂
If there’s even a doubt in your mind, please don’t do it.
I more than likely won’t OD, but let’s see if I still say that after the meds 🙁 I really am nervous lol. But hey…. I have to at least try. What have I got to lose? My sanity? Ha ha yeah right.
Your ability to articulate yourself well enough to reach a point where you can cross examine the concept of your own mental well being? .. is what I’d say you have to lose.
You’d be surprised what you have to lose, so to speak, often people don’t appreciate, or even realize what thay have (to lose) untill it’s gone.
You’re right. Like I said in my previous response, I may end up so brain dead or oblivious to the fact I’m no longer “me”, I won’t even care and therefore have a false sense of happiness until I do die.
X(
No. That won’t work out… if that’s your attitude you’ll only suffer more. You can’t ultimstely eradicate your own consciousness, that’s ridiculous.
ultimately*
Trust your gut 🙂
I get that ‘any port in a storm’ thing…I have a severe mental illness with many episodes of psychosis. I was so severely depressed I got prescribed an SSRI (which Prozac is), citalopram. It did keep my depression at a bearable level, at a fairly high dose. It also made me gain weight and killed my sex drive, plus, along with other meds, kill my creativity and render me an intellectual zombie. But the real bummer is trying to come off the stuff, for the sake of my physical health (I’m headed for Type 2 diabetes otherwise).
I’m currently on half the original dose, and the depression has significantly worsened. I can’t reduce it any more, at least for now, as I am pretty much constantly suicidal. After three years on the stuff my brain can’t function without it.
I partly agree with what takeeverything and clevername said, but when it’s truly a matter of life or death – literally – what are you to do? Certainly do your research and inform yourself thoroughly about the side effects and other people’s experiences. Make an informed decision. And good luck!
Thank you for your input. I’m so sorry to hear what the medicine has done to you. It really sucks when it has so many negative effects yet if you don’t take it you’re mental state is worse off.
I have been reading about Prozac, and I do admit the side effects make me nervous. But they’re usually rare, and in my case I normally don’t feel any effects of the medications given to me.
I just hope this time it’ll work. But you know, the thought of being happy and “normal” makes me a bit uneasy. Whenever I’m genuinely “okay” or “feeling good” I almost get a sense of guilt because those feelings are foreign to me. I’m so used to the dark feelings and the suicidal thoughts I almost want them to come back because I know how to cope with them (in the wrong ways sadly)