ANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT do others do with anger?   Thankfully, i live alone, so i at times rant and slam things down. i beat on my arms, i LOVE feeling the pain…it allows my mind to refocus.  I sometimes cut, but i prefer the hitting, beating myself….usually my lower arms and when they get too sore the upper arms.  sometimes i leave bruises…sometimes it takes a day or so to show up.  try to cover them when out in public.  Again, at home i am alone.  i wish for crazy things…like to drop a cynder block on my head, knock myself out (doubtfully) or get a brain bleed and just not go to the ER.  No one checks me…they seem far-fetched, but i hurt and i am angry and physically hurting myself is the only way i can cope right now with all my pain.  ideas anyone?  i guess i see my causing myself these short bursts of pain not hurting me…just a way to cope until i can go the “Big Deal”…and PERMANENTLY make it all stop….forever.