I want to die right now. I had some sort of a plan, but now I’m extremely close to just trying the first method that comes to mind instead, and forgetting everything about what I originally planned. I don’t know how to cope with everything anymore, so I’m close to trying to leave this world without taking care of the things I need to first. No matter where I am or what I do, these thoughts are with me more or less constantly, and I don’t know what to do in order to be able to hang on anymore. Needless to say, I shouldn’t do this without planning it properly. Has anyone here experienced a similar situation? Any tips or thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.
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I did have a plan set in motion but decided upon a more dynamic approach instead. I’ll attempt to settle most of my accounts in this life by year’s end and take my leave from there. Of course, if an opportunity presents itself (and the criteria I’ve set forth in regards to the retention of my exist on Earth is not met) then I’ll more than likely take my life there and then.
My best advice – and this goes with life in general – is to adapt with each situation as it comes, take on each challenge collectively, and overcome them as best as you can.
Shephard,
Thank you very much for your reply (I’m glad my post wasn’t completely unintelligible even though English is not my first language). I’m sorry that you have decided to end your life… I truly am. For what it might be worth, I’ve been reading several of your posts and comments on this site, and I absolutely believe that this world needs people like you. And I wanted to tell you something else: I strongly suspect that you’ve borrowed your nickname from my favourite character in anything ever, even though her name is spelt differently, and she is a woman in my case
(and yes, to me, she even beats Atticus Finch. Imagine that). I can’t be sure if I am right, of course, but just in case this made any sense to you at all, and I actually am right, I feel like saying this: You carry your screen name well. I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but I hope you eventually decide to stay alive.Regarding your advice to me, I know you’re right, of course. It’s just so hard right now. But I will try my best. Thank you again for responding, and for doing it so quickly. It helps me feel less alone in this desperate situation.
bluerabbitheart,
I noted your previous post in that you reside in the Nordic regions and I must say that your English is impeccable. You have done a fine job in acquiring this language, I wish I could say that I could speak in your lingo as well, though sadly I cannot (trust me, I’ve tried).
Well, thank you for acknowledging my posts/comments. I’ll admit that I don’t always know what to say with each person who posts/comments here, but I’ll do my best to approach them in a firm, fair and…somewhat familiar manner. There are plenty of folks here and in the world as a whole who’ll render the same assistance that I have and perhaps do it much better.
In regards to the name of Shephard: the only female Shepard is the protagonist from the Mass Effect series, if that’s the character you’re referring to? I borrowed my name from another such character – Adrian Shephard. I identify with him in many ways, but mostly the fact that after everything he achieved and how he managed to survival against all odds – he still ended up losing in the end (I see your “To Kill A Mockingbird” reference as well – an excellent read). Of course, I’m probably wrong, but for myself personally I do feel that I carry the name of the good Corporal quite well.
I don’t mind at all, as long as you don’t mind me returning that statement in kind. We don’t want to die, but certain circumstances…transgressions etc…have forced us to play this hand. I hope we can both find a way through this.
I can’t say that I’m right (since everybody’s wrong) but do with my advice what you will. I feel less alone as well, and it’s nice to receive your kind words on this drizzly, dismal early Wednesday morning. I will say that you seem like a very wonderful person who has exceptional taste in literature and stories in general.
Please, enjoy your morning/evening. 🙂
Shephard,
Thank you very much for your kind comment on my English. That means a lot coming from a native speaker, and especially when it comes from someone who writes as well as you do. I’m positive that you would learn my language more quickly than most if you set your mind to it 🙂
Yes, you are right — I was referring to Mass Effect’s Commander Shepard. Sadly, I don’t know the character you’ve borrowed your nickname from, but, as I mentioned, I hope you will be unlike him in the way that you win in the end. You seem like a true fighter, “a soldier with grace”, so to speak (did that make any sense?), so that’s why I’ve been thinking of ME’s Shepard while reading your posts and comments. Yes, To Kill a Mockingbird is excellent, indeed — still my favourite book.
Forgive me, but I have to reply to you in the same way you answered me: Thank you very much for your kind words. And likewise — and as I’ve already mentioned, you seem like the type of person this world needs many more of. I actually doubt that there are many people out there who would do what you do better than you already do. And I am under the impression that many people on this site would agree with me about that.
Thank you for your wishes (it’s a rainy afternoon over here). I wish the same for you. And thank you very much for taking all this time out of your life to help me and talk to me. I’m glad to have “met” you here. Please take care.
Hi, i am sorry that you want to die. I want to suicide someday but i have no plan. I hope you can find peace. My advice is probably terrible, anyway, take each day as it comes and try not to live in the past. I know thats difficult for some people. Even if your bedroom is a mess, life still goes on
sadgiraffe (lovely username, by the way, even though it makes me sad as well),
Thank you, and I am so sorry to hear that you are in a similar situation to my own. Like I said to Shephard, I hope that you are eventually able to find the will to live.
Your advice is not terrible at all; I know you’re right, but as you say, it can be very hard. Your last comment is so apt that I don’t even know what to say… Except “you’re right, and I’ll try my best”. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. It’s comforting to be able to talk to people who understand what I’m going through. Please take care.
thanks very much. Try to take care of yourself too. This username i made was random. Lol. I saw a comment you made to Shephard ‘lykke til’. I know it wasnt for me, are you Norwegian?
sadgiraffe,
Thank you; I will try my best. And yes, I am 🙂
bluerabbitheart,
I attribute my ‘command’ of the English language to my love of books as a child – I believe that reading and indeed literature entirely is the best way to hone/master any language. With your current skill level, you’d outdo most young people who are native speakers! Hehe. Well done. If I do find the time in the future, perhaps I may take up your language. Who knows?
Mass Effect is a hallmark of storytelling in video games and I’ll admit that I was apprehensive at first, but upon completing the trilogy early last year, I was completely satisfied with how the story ended (how’s about that ‘Catalyst’ kid?) Oh of course that made sense! Trust me, you needn’t worry about your English. 🙂 I don’t have a Canadian accent like the Commander (I’m Kiwi) but I s’pose given the context, it would only be fair to read it in the sense that they’d written what I have.
I…um, gosh… I’m not sure how I’d match what you’d said there. Thank you, truly. I seem to find that when I’m at my lowest – when the lights have all gone out – I can help anyone else but myself. I’m not sure why that is, but I do find strength in helping others and *hopefully* having them feel helped in return. You are not the first to comment on me in this manner and it’s surprising (yet humbling) to receive such comments from folks whom I have had little interaction with before, yet know very intimate details of how I operate and who I am as a fellow SP user.
It’s almost two in the morning here and the rain’s stopped for now. Like I said: “I have nothing but time”, and I’m more than happy to spend it on speaking with people such as yourself. The pleasure is all mine, I’m truly enlightened from “meeting” you here. I really must get to sleep now, but I will bid you a fine afternoon and evening, and hope to see you ’round the site in the days/weeks/months ahead.
I will take care, and I hope you do too. Good night. 😀
Shephard,
I decided to reply to you again — perhaps you will see this when you wake up. Yes, reading probably is one of the best ways to master any language. Thank you! I’ve always loved English, but I can only wish that I could master it as well as you do. Hah, that’s great! If you do: Lykke til! 🙂
I haven’t completed ME3 yet — I’ve only completed the first two games, and played a little bit of the third one. But don’t worry, you didn’t spoil anything — what you said didn’t make sense to me, haha. But yes, I think the ME series is wonderful. In fact, it was the only thing that made me want to live last year. Now I don’t have access to it anymore, and consequently, I’m once again struggling to find a reason to live (I can’t believe I just admitted that).
I think I know what you mean… I’ve been told I’m a bit like that myself. But not on a site like this… In my current state, I fear that I might do more harm than good if I reply to someone who is in need of advice, and I definitely don’t want to cause anyone any harm. I’m not surprised at all that you’ve heard what I said before! You’ve made me feel better today, and I thank you for that. I was feeling quite desperate earlier, as I so often do lately, but now that feeling has subsided. That’s almost entirely thanks to you. So again: Thank you.
Thank you very much! I hope the same. And if you read this reply, I hope it finds you well rested 🙂
Oh my, I’m only seeing this now…
Hmm. I don’t mind English, but the fact that each other language is made to revolve around it is…rather unsettling. If you can master English, there is no language that you can’t. Thank you for wishing me luck. 🙂
I sold my copy of ME3 last year, I wish I could procure a copy for you. Which platform did you play it on? I must admit that there was a part in ME3 that made me shed some tears (can’t believe I’m admitting that) but it was a powerful moment and I hope you’ll get to experience that too. Seriously, if I can somehow help you get a copy, just ask.
Can I just say that I thoroughly enjoyed talking with you – feel free to strike up a conversation with me at any time 🙂 My friend, the pleasure is all mine. I must thank you for your gracious company and kind words. Now, I must sleep yet again. But if you do reply, I will keep this post bookmarked so I may get back to you tomorrow. Enjoy your afternoon (?) and I hope it all goes well for you.
Shephard,
No worries 🙂 Hm, I have to admit that I haven’t really thought about it that way before… I love languages in general, but there are definitely some I don’t think I could ever master, haha. But thank you! And I see you already know my language to some extent. I wonder why I’m not surprised 😉
Thank you so much for your offer. You are so kind! However, the problem isn’t that I don’t have a copy (actually, I even have more than one). The reason why I can’t play it anymore, is a very long story, but again, thank you so much for your offer. It means a lot (I played on PC, by the way). Oh, I cried a couple of times over the course of playing through ME2! ME in general is a very powerful story with wonderful characters (at least to me), and I’m glad it had such a positive impact on you too. Thank you very much for your wish. There is nothing I want more, to be honest — as I think you realised, considering your very generous offer.
Oh, thank you so much — and likewise! You seem like a great person, and I would definitely like to talk more. Thank you, I will try — and I hope you get a good night’s rest.
bluerabbitheart, I read in another thread that you felt ugly and have depression, i am sorry to hear this, i cant give advice on this, but it must be horrible for someone. I will not say the usual ‘you are beautiful’ blah blah… You are a very kind person, that is all that would matter to me. I could put this in their thread but i dont understand depression or feeling ugly, but i try to.
Your english is really good. I know a little bit of written norwegian (my boyfriend lol). Whatever this mass effect game is, sounds alright. Must be summer over there. I hope you enjoy your life (dont know your story) and good luck. Feel free to chat if you like, as you can see i am not even half as charismatic as Shephard, but up to chat. You both seem like good people. I think he was on SP nearly all day and all night yesterday. As for games i play world of warcraft, like DOS games too. Days seem so short to me. Time goes so fast. Spend so much time and, oh where did the time go? Lol. I hope you can hang on to life, dont know how old you are. I hope you can enjoy it, you have alot to offer the world with your kindness. Thanks.
Whoa whoa whoa WHOA?! You don’t even Mass Effect, bro?
What’re you doing just sitting there? Purchase it nao!!!
…but actual, you’ll enjoy it. I think they have a Mass Effect trilogy edition with all the [insert snarky reference to how EA locks disc content, only to resell later at cost] included. I thought I’d hate it, but damn is some good stuff.
ah i see, i hope its cheap. Its hard to get myself into new games, yet i am interested lol. Maybe theres some videos on it. I would rather play it though.
sadgiraffe,
Thank you very much! That’s very cool, I thought you were Norwegian yourself for a second when you recognised and understood that phrase! It’s summer over here, indeed, and the heat is nearly killing me at times, haha.
Mass Effect is a wonderful series, you should definitely try it! I don’t know what platform you play on, but I purchased the trilogy pack (that Shephard mentioned) for PC, and I was happy with it. I have to admit, apart from ME, I mostly play strategy games. But until ME came into my life, I wasn’t really “a gamer”, heh.
I would definitely like to chat more with you as well! You seem like a very nice person. Thank you very much for your kind words and wishes. I wish the same for you. I am in my late 20s, by the way, what about you? 🙂
Ah i see, so you have a new hobby now, gaming. ME is that good? I will get it when i can afford it. I know poor excuse, but i am poor. Maybe theres a demo somewhere. In the meantime i could check out videos and articles and reviews about it. Stuck on my old phone for a few days. Picked up snippets of it reading yours and Shephards posts, of what you both think of it. I play games on the PC. I look forward to checking it out. I am 21, eurasian, i have a bit of danish in me. Lol. Have a nice evening there
sadgiraffe,
Heheh, yes, even though I can’t play any games at the moment. ME is very good — brilliant, in my opinion — so when you can afford it, you should definitely consider getting it. Oh, how nice! I love the Danish language 😛 Thank you, I hope you’re having a nice day!
bluerabbitheart,
You surely have quite a command over the English language, and were it not for your previous post about you living in the Nordic region, I would’ve thought you were from a purely English speaking country. I know very little, my cousin is part Norwegian (an Amundsen would you believe? Distant relation to Roald) and taught me some almost a decade ago. I reckon if you get the dialect down packed with any language, you should be fine. Well, in my experience anyway.
Oh okay? It must be something bad enough to not want to make you play the game, or perhaps I’m reading this wrong? I’m sorry to hear that. News stories suggest there is a new Mass Effect already in development but not in direct relation to CMDR Shepard’s storyline. It sounds pretty good so far. If I can help with anything at all, just let me know. 🙂
Hehe. I did get some good rest, even though the rain kept pestering me. I hope you’ve rested (or are resting) and look for’d to talking with you again. 😀
Shephard,
Oh, wow, thank you! As I said earlier, that means a lot coming from you. How cool that you have an Amundsen in your family!
It’s more of a major obstacle, really, but there’s something I need to get out of the way before I’ll be able to sit down and play (and enjoy) the game again. It’s hard to explain the situation, and I’m a little aprehensive about doing so on the Internet, but now that you’ve very kindly offered to help, I’m almost tempted to do it anyway. You give such great advice. Yes, I saw a teaser for the next ME game not long ago, and I could hardly handle it, haha. It even made me reconsider my plans about leaving this world…
I’m glad to hear that 🙂 It’s late here now, so I should go and try to get some sleep, but I look forward to talking to you again, too!