My girlfriend and I of over two years are going off to college this fall. She thought she was going to the same school as me until just a few weeks ago she decided to change for the better if her education. She going to a different state. We truly are in love and aren’t one of those bullshit high school relationships. I’m gonna miss her so much and she’s all il ever think about the entire time. Now I don’t even want to go to college. I just want to be with her. Any advice?
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When I look back on my HS relationship I can see that we weren’t really in love, but I did love that girl with all my heart. You just see things later on in life that you can’t see in that moment. But that’s what life is, it’s a series of moments, good and bad. Look back on this relationship with find memories. Don’t let yourself sink into a dark place. Enjoy every second you can now, because when she is gone…I’m sorry to say I know it’s sad but when she is gone it will be over. If you try to chase her and make it work you are more likely to hurt yourself bad and never recover. Your life is worth more than this. Enjoy the memory and trust that if love is real then you two will be together one day. But when she is gone, let go of her and the drama of trying to stay together. Just simply don’t do that to yourself is my whole point. You can give yourself time and find a girl in your new school, or maybe start falling back now to any other girl you know who might like you and isn’t going to move away. It might seem cruel to your GF but trust me, it’s the right thing to do. She is leaving so that means she’s not gonna be putting you first no matter what she says. Don’t trust her! I’m telling you honest truth, she is changing and she’s not that same girl you’ve been with. That’s why I say the most important thing you can do for yourself is to move on and remember her fondly.
There is nothing else you could or should do. Like I said if you try to keep her your gonna get hurt.
Stay strong
@I miss you – ABSOLUTELY take this advice to heart. You can’t buy advice this good. RealTalk is truly someone who cares telling you how it’s going to play-out.
For myself, I was 14 years ago in your shoes. We fought hard to hold on to each other, and eventually got so tired, we fell apart.(<—-Whoa 15 lost years in one sentence…fitting.)
Let your cards unfold before placing your bet. Good luck to you, and I hope for all the best for the both of you.
read the writing on the wall.
It’s over for now, but parting on good terms could allow a way to reunite at some future juncture.
Or maybe you’ll both grow apart too much, become different people, and eventually not think the loss of the relationship a bad thing.
Listen to RT. He’s got some amazing insights. I feel like adding something, but there really isn’t much more I can add to what RT said.
When I was that age, I wanted to be in love so bad. It’s all I wanted. I couldn’t understand other people.. I couldn’t understand how some guys could be confident and not need that person to love. I wasted so much time and now I look back and what I should have done can never be done now.. I should have focused on trying to find my career, one where I could make good money and buy a house at a YOUNG age and be set. Cause then being in love is much much easier.. You have pride and power and a foundation and it shows great things about one’s own self. There will be a time in your life one day where you will have to check yourself and ask.. “Do I have my shit together? Am I ready?” And right at this moment in your life, is the cross roads to that time. Right now your actions dictate what you will spend your time doing for the next 15-20 years! Don’t waste it on love! lol seriously, don’t! Those who do only suffer, unless you have everything handed to you! You should be happy to be able to date girls your age right now! Enjoy it, cuz in 10 years you’ll look back and wish you had! 😉
That is really good advice, thank you. I just have a connection with her that I never have had before woth anyone. She’s all I will think about and I don’t know if I will be able to control that. We decided that wel both keep wearing our promising rings in college. I defiantly haven’t had much handed to me at all in life and she is the absolute best thing in my life. She truly is my sunshine. Even thou we’ve had hard times we have gotten threw a lot. Nothing has been about cheating or with antithetical person or any of that. I just get sick to the thought if being alone. Without her
RealTalk30 you are the man. Wish someone would have told me that when i was young, it could have turned my life around and i wouldn’t be so screwed up right now.
And to the OP (i miss you), girls do change (men too, tho) a LOT when they get into college. Had it happen twice on me (when i was young and later on when i dated a younger girl when i was already older, awful idea btw) and both times the special bond and all the promises made meant nothing after a couple of months/max a year, both times their decision, not mine. I was replaced sooner than a pair of old socks. So even if you think you have something special and are willing to fight for it, keep in mind the possibility of it falling apart, because that’s what happens most of the times. The relationships that survive distance and/or college are few.
@i miss you- you have to believe in this advice cuz it’s for your own good. People do change, instantly. All these promises you’ve made to each other. You have to let them go because like you said it’s gonna be too much for you. Who ever invented the promise ring should be shot!! It’s cruel to make two young people stay together or to think they need to keep promises. Promises are not for young people. Fun is for the young, being reckless and not tied down.
I was gonna marry this girl.. She was my everything, my sunshine, my special bond that I can never get back. I didn’t know she had changed until she was already gone. I’ve had three or 4 relationships that ended the same way..lesson learned..? You can not predict people or what they will do no matter what they say or how you feel about them. The second you give in and trust that they are who they say they are, that’s when they flip your life up side down. Learn it all now before you follow this same failed path.
It’s time to start facing facts. Ditch the ring, ditch the girl and move forward in life. If you haven’t been handed anything then you need to square up and start working for it (or keep working for it). This girl is bad news now! Stamp that label on her and move on. Don’t even talk to her anymore, dude.. Trust me! It’s all bad now! You’ll be a better and smarter man if you stick to those actions.
I really am thankful for your advice. All of you. Especially real talk. Of course it’s not what I wanted to hear of course but it’s really gonna help. More than likely I’m gonna have to live and learn on this one but knowing that this May have a good chance if happening will do me good. None of us got here by doing the smart thing and just listening to what people who have already gone threw and doing it but by experiencing it. Thank you very much for the advice and I do promise you that it will help a whole lot. It’s just really gonna suck a whole lot no matter what. Ya know? Life’s gonna be rough for a while. Probably a long while I guess.
I leave in less than a month. I will probably be posting stuff on here about it in the next few months if you guys care enough to read it or not I’m sure il be in some pretty bad shape