You know what? I’m not feeling suicidal, I don’t feel like cutting. I just feel empty. There’s just a huge empty hole that’s inside me and it’s leaving me very uncertain. My parents want me to think about life, especially since this is my senior year, but they don’t understand that I don’t see myself living after I turn 18. Let me explain: I don’t mean that I’m gonna commit suicide, or anything like that, it’s just I can’t see myself in the future after 18. I can’t imagine going to college, traveling the world, having kids, getting married. I know that normal people can do this, they can see the kind of job they want to work, the kind of wedding they want, the kind of person they fall in love with, but I don’t. I don’t know what the hell this means, but it all goes back to how empty I feel. I don’t want to feel empty, and cutting hasn’t filled that hole. Somebody, what does this mean?
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2 comments
I wish I did know. Perhaps it means that your values are different from those around you. Perhaps you are a person of ‘being,’ not ‘doing.’ I wish I knew. I’m a lot like you.
That is exactly how I feel. I also think to myself what will I be like because I honestly cannot see one speck of my future its just empty.