lost

Hi… wow you have a lot going on right now! firstly I my self feel lost too so I am completely with you on that score its a tough thing to admit I think so good for you for admitting it. I have been where you are I think as I have also felt those feelings in wanting the pain to stop, I am grateful now though at the moment I do not feel like that, though I am still ‘Lost’ its hard sometimes to know which direction to take, I have felt overwhelmed by choices one day and unable to achieve any in the next (at my low points)…
One thing I realised lately is by not making a decision on any direction to take, means you are taking the decision to stay static, which don’t get me wrong is the best thing when you are not up for the challenge (not to put yourself under unnecessary pressure), but sometimes its nice to have goals to work towards, Thankfully I am in a better place than where I was when I had a complete nervous breakdown, I was at the point where I haven’t ever hated anyone more than I completely loathed myself.. I used to pray to be knocked down by a bus, lighting, or any way out..
I am really happy to hear that you were disturbed by your room mate, it means you get to live on to fight another day, I have found that talking helps so much especially to people who care and understand, and that remind you that you are a human being deserving of love and capable of a lot more than you might realise at the moment.
I hope this message gives you a little comfort and that you know you are not alone xox