My never ending story

In fourth grade I moved to a new school..I was heavier than most of the students there and they made sure I knew. They constantly bullied me n called me fat and said worst thing about me. My teacher even pulled me by my hair and threw me into the principles office. I always went home crying. After that year I moved schools. I made sure I worked out so I wasn’t as fat by the time 5th grade came, I entered that school (I left my grammas house n moved in with my mom) I made some friends but I still heard the words fat ugly useless and much more but not as often. I went home crying sometimes. I almost got beat up too! I managed good grades and my teachers loved me..that summer I made it a goal to lose a jean size..I ran and ran and swam n rode my bike. I did it!! I was finally thin. 6th grade bad things started happening behind closed doors no one knew hell to this day none of my family knows. My moms bf constantly called me a slut and a whore and accused me of sleeping around. He did things..he’d pull on my bra strap n put his hands on my waist.. Well me n my mom fought more.. A lot more..so I went to a party and got drunk I had to let loose. I’m bi so I had my first ever girlfriend and the guy that was there made out with me n her too! HE was super drunk.. I was the only sober one so I remember everything. The next day he went to school staying I lost my virginity in a three way when it never happened.. I had no friends and I was called slut whore **** ugly ***** n people told me to kill myself 7th grade 3 days before my birthday I found a boyfriend he was 3 years older than me..he called me pretty and beautiful and gorgeous and made me feel like I was worth something..on my birthday he cheated on me n told me he only felt bad for me..he only wanted sex from me but I wouldn’t give it. I was depressed. My moms boyfriend told my mom repeatedly that I lost my virginity and I was a no good whore and after a while she started believing it. I wasn’t allowed to do anything. I was even kicked outta the house. I started cutting… 8th grade my grandpa came down with pneumonia and later diagnosed with cancer..we all knew this before hand but I refused to accept it. I spent most of my weekends there and talked to him and loved him and he was my dad. I loved my dad. Well rumors started from my ex saying I lost my virginity..I VALUE my virginity. Once again I had no friends and every day they’d wait for me outside of lunch and push me n call me a whore and say to kill myself even more. I cut even more but hid it from my family. I went back with the cheating ex and I was stupid again. My mom threatened to call the police on him so we broke up.. One week later she saw the cuts on my wrist and started crying. Her boyfriend told her it was because I wanted attention. She told everyone it was because she made me break up with the guy..well a few weeks later I got my friends back n they apologized and we made up. So at the end of the year I got a new boyfriend and we all threw a party. My moms boyfriend kept watching me n wouldn’t let me be alone for 5mins because he thought I wAs sleeping around. On July 17th my grandpa passed away at 404 am. I was laying right next to him when he died holding his hand. I became super depressed dumped my boyfriend and shut everyone out of my life. I hated the world I hated Jesus for taking my grandpa. I became violent and I cried every night. I cut even more and attempted suicide. I still lived obviously.. My friend caught me in the middle of it n saved me 9th grade a new kid came into the school he was just like me. He saved my life multiple times and we became best friends his girlfriend got jealous so she started a hate her club and he wouldn’t talk to me for a month… After the month we all made up. She dumped him..he was there for me when no one else was. We dated for a month and then he told me he couldn’t date me because I wouldn’t give out sex…we haven’t talked since then.. After him I met a guy..he was a senior..yay!!! Not…he tried forcing me into sex and I didn’t want to..on the day before valentines my mom called his mom n told her I was suicidal… He dumped me… People said I gave him blowjobs and hand jobs when I never did. My ex best friend who was the guy started rumors..but I still had all my friends.. By the time may came.. I went back to the senior and when I thought the threesome rumors were gone for good someone told him I lost it..it was the guy I kisses at the party..me n him fought for a week n I found out a week later he was cheating on me with a girl who “gave it out” I was depressed and tired..my moms boyfriend pulled on my bikini strap one of those weekends n tried undoing it.. Ever since then..my moms been treating me different cause I was forced to tell her.. I met this guy who is now my best friend I can call him every night no matter the time and hell help me and make me feel worth is..he’s older than I but age is just a number…he introduced me to his group of friends who never judge me or talk shit about me but support me. They’re like my family..and they make me feel like living…I also have now an amazing boyfriend who accepts me for being bisexual (unlike my mom who’d disown me if she ever found out) and I am on the path of recovery because of the friend family and my boyfriend of one month. He never forces me to do anything (I even grew up with him) and even when I relapse he’s there to help me and wipe away my tears. Him and my friend family help me manage and stay alive each day no matter whT my mom says…so my advice to you all is stay strong it can’t rain forever. After the rain comes a Rainbow. You’ll get your rainbow soon