Like all humans the boy had limits.Limits to what he could do.but also limits to what he could take and after all the time that had passed he finally understood one fact.He would always be alone.the boy had tried harder than most people would have…he tried harder than he should have….he gave up.he was done.he decided to not care anymore.he cut himself off.he showed nothing.that darkness in his heart had once again warped him.his face grew blank.no smiling.no more crying.nothing…he gave in to the lonliness.he kept it all inside.his feelings of pain and resentment and sadness…he decided to close them in his heart and pretend like they werent there.he became emotionless and colder than ever.as if to trick himself into thinking he wasnt alone.and that all his pain never existed.Although he didnt show it on his face….he was crying on the inside.From the depths of his soul he cried.but no tears.so sad..so lonly..so much pain.he kept it inside.he stayed that way for five years.and continues to do so to this very day.deep down in the very back of his existence he held a little light.hope u could call it.hope that one day a special person would come along.and save him.or at the very least stay by his side no matter what.someone he could love….i should know….we’re talking about me after all…
3 comments
5 Years is just too fuckin long, seriously. You have more patience than I do.
All the more power to you,,,,
But for me I gave that kind of hope up, its a done deal.
The only question ism really, is are you wise enough to cut your losses while you are ahead in the game,,,, or do you want to just keep suffering?
Writing is on the wall (for me at least).
Theres more wrong with me than you could possibly imagine if only I could just simply cut my losses….but its not that easy and well the truth is…I gave up long ago..for me theres only a lonely end where I die alone and I’ve come to accept that now
You remind me of my son.
Personally I have no idea how to switch off emotion and be cold inside (sometimes I wish I could), but I know that plenty of people do it.
I guess it only cuts us off more from other people, so it comes back to bite us in the butt, like so many other ‘coping strategies’.
Deep down you are a very caring person BrokenSoul, who has been burned by this world. You are a fully paid up member of the human race. I hope you can learn to feel the full range of emotions again – therapy could help with this. Only that way can you open yourself to the joys as well as the sorrows, and be able to fully relate to and connect with others.