I was watching a video I made when I was 12 years old. I had similar feelings to the ones I feels now; “if my friend doesn’t want to make time to come to visit me and i’m doing all the work in visiting them, they’re aren’t my friend”
It kinda shocked me because I didn’t realized how deep and how far back these feelings go. Who knew.
Anyway, I moved to a new place recently, and though it lightens the load, I still feel heavy. Hopefully the excitement of change will distract me for a good time before I spiral again.
3 comments
Forget about the idea of spiraling again and just believe things are going to work out for you this time. You have a new start on life. Make some good choices to make your life worthwhile and put the past behind you.
carry on soldier you can do it.
I have said those same words so many times and walked away from people I used to call friends. It always took years for me to have the courage though.
The funny thing is that the relationship with the only woman who ever gave me the time of day ended similarly – well, sort of. At first we did everything together even though we had different interests, then over the course of years she became much more balanced mentally, became more of an extrovert, and just got tired of reciprocating. I still put in the effort still but she was the one who left.
She credits me for making her life so much better, yet she just stopped trying to do the same for me.
Even making all the time you can for someone doesn’t mean it’ll last.
I hear you. Friends, so called friends, you give them everything and they only have you around when it’s comfortable or convenient for them. After getting upset over and over again about these “friends” I decided to profit on my numbness and become one of those “if it’s comfortable I’ll go” friends. I found that helping animals was more rewarding than being with people. Maybe visiting your local shelter can help a bit. Also I’ve moved all over the globe looking for those few months of excitement before it all crashes again. The months of excitement turned into weeks of excitement that turned into days of excitement and now it’s nothing. No new city, no new country excites me. There’s no running away.