Tomorrow starts “anew”

I keep dreaming of a different life
I keep hoping to be a better person
I keep praying for a brighter sun
Yet I keep holding this knife

A new start they say
Its your chance to be whatever you want
But every time I try to imagine, my mind taunts me
With these fantastic images of what may be one day

You’ll be a hero, a friend, a savior
You’ll change the world for the better
You’l finally forget her
You’ll finally change your behavior

These pictures in my head
I can see they are lies
And I know that even if I tried
Soon, I’d just wind up dead

I’ve tried starting again
Worked hard and followed the rules
I threw out the blades and reached for new tools
But I always end up bleeding in the end

So much has changed but so much has not
A new place, a new crowd
But the same me, the same frown
It’s an new chapter but it has the same plot