A piece of me

Hi everyone, lately I’ve been thinking more and more about suicide. Over a year ago I met this guy who I feel in love with and after about 8 months I was told he had a girlfriend. Imagine the hurt and betrayal I felt by this. Sadly I wasn’t strong enough to walk away from him, it’s like he had some kind of control over me. I finally got to a place where I walked away from him for good about 5 months ago. I’ve been trying to better myself and move on with my life, I’m only 22. I’ve been trying to get back in school but it seems every time I try this a huge road block pops up (financially speaking). But recently we got back in contact with each other and he ask me would I try again (here’s where the mind games began). I didn’t really give him an answer I just said I loved him very much and maybe in the future. Then he said to me “I would try again”. Then days later I finally tell him I’d try again and he never responds to me, it’s like he doesn’t want to be with me but he enjoys having me want him and be needy for him. He’s been dealing with another girl on top of all that and that really hurt me all over again, he drives her car and everything. I don’t understand why this hurts me so bad. I try praying but I’m so lonely and so depressed every second of every day literally, I really don’t know what to do at this point in my life.