I want to die, and since I can’t go the seven pounds route and donate my organs in time, I guess dying is about all I can do. This video gave me an odd level of comfort I mean if he can do it why can’t I? I’m down to partial suspension hanging jumping off of a building or if I can get my car working in time an exit bag. I need my car to go get the supplies. I wish I had some painkillers to help numb the initial pain of the rope, all I have is alcohol. I’m not trying to get any attention I just keep lacking the courage to take that final step and hope I can psyche myself up for it. I am tired of human nature and this world. Since hackers all over the world hit listed me and I pissed off some bad people I don’t much see the point in living, I’m powerless against these people, also living with a mental illness like mine is a curse. I’ve never had a relationship, I can’t keep a job long, and the internet is my only way to escape my horrible life since my reality has always sucked. But that was a double edged sword since due to my mental illness I attracted the attention of a lot of people. I hope none of you decide to off yourselves and I hope you all find the peace you are looking for. Let’s hope tonight I can find the courage to go that final step. If I had my car fixed and could get my exit back supplies I think there is a much higher chance I’d have done the deed, sadly I can barely function to get another job to pay for my equipment. It’s harder to kill yourself than I thought, though if I could get my exit bag stuff I know I’ll be able to do it, for now I’m stuck with my rope.
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=5e3_1286805999
8 comments
Hopefully I can jump of the bridge soon. But its even harder for a person like me cause I think there’s a good chance I will suffer even more in the afterlife or whatever. Its always a possibility.
I would never push someone else off a cliff or a bridge, so why push myself? well there’s just to much pain, and I’m weak.
Anyway man I dont know what to say to you cause Im on the edge to. Were not alone in suffering.
I am sadly alone in my suffering. What’s worse due to reacting badly to something that happened to me and the hackers relaying it to a third party and some tricks they pulled I have a whole coalition of people out there trying to do me in anyway they can. Some of these people are in the 1%. I’ve been hacked stalked harassed and tortured mentally for over one year and they intend to do much worse to my life.
I begged these people for forgiveness, I even offered them money to let me simply live my life in peace, but they won’t let me be. They don’t care that I am a trainwreck of a person and my issues have issues, the initial people did it for laughs and the others did it for various reasons. If I can’t do it tonight via hanging since I am a coward when it comes to pain, I will use an exit bag I cant do this anymore. I’m hit listed and have a coalition of people out there wanting my life ruined anyway they can accomplish it, how does some broke dude with mental issues hold out against such people? They judge me by stuff I said at the spur of the moment and in the midst of a manic episode and not by anything else. I’ve wanted to die for a long time so it’s not like I’m really missing out on a whole lot.
I would have worked a dead end job sat at home alone and went on my computer to escape reality of being alone and mentally ill. My life would have ended the same way alone it’s just it’s going to end sooner. I guess it’s 50/50 tonight whether i can do it with the rope. The minute I can get my exit bag supplies it will be 90+% since it’s rather painless and am easy way to go out.
I don’t mean to come across as attention seeking that wasn’t my intent I just wanted to talk to a few other people before I went. Hanging yourself is harder than it looks sorry for the wasted space on this website. Guess I’ll have to sell my computer to get the cash I need for my supplies for the exit bag. I hate being unable to do it via hanging, it is more painful than I thought.
I’m going soon too. I wish you a peaceful journey…
Judging by how awful this life is I honestly think the next one might be worse if we kill ourselves, but its just my opinion. Never really know
What is an exit bag?
I agree with whhhyyy. Thats the only thing stopping me is the afterlife. I seriously doubt death is just a peacful slumber. It would be nice if it was. Do you have family near by DC?