What does it mean to love?
I have been alive for 20 years and I don’t know what it feels like. I have been trying to describe this feeling to myself but i feel like i can’t.
To love someone, and to be loved. Not just in a romantic way, but with family and friends.
Like, if you were to ask me if I loved my parents or if they loved me i would say yes, not because i understand this feeling. Just because its the right answer.
A close friend of mine used to cut like myself. But she stopped when she found her boyfriend. It’s like when you are that broken inside you need someone there who can truly love you for you, not just the family that is supposed to love you. . I believe she has found that. She is a lot happier now.
Not being able self harm because you feel pain for that special person you would be hurting. I think that’s the best medicine.
So i’m wondering if I find someone who will love me for just being me, will i be happy too? I’ve been trying to imagine that feeling, but i can’t. I don’t know what loving someone or someone loving me feels like. I can’t describe it. I can’t even feel it.
If i find someone who can accept all my flaws and still love me, i think that would be the most amazing thing.
I want to find someone who needs me as much as i need them.
8 comments
It’s hard to imagine what absolutely real love feels like when you don’t have it. When we do have it we know. True there is noting better for us than to have someone in our lives that loves us for who we really are, not just for what we are (cute, funny, beautiful, sexy, yadda yadda yadda) and that loves us unselfishly. When two people share such a deeply rooted and spiritual bond – well that’s what real love is. And I will add one more thing – that spiritual bond happens before the physical bond if it is real. When two people begin a relationship with sex, and then the “love” comes later they are fooling themselves. And it likely won’t last.
We have to be careful though. When we desire someone to love us unconditionally we can give them too much power over us. We allow them to define our identity with how we perceive their love for us. And then we can need them so much we drive them away by making them responsible for every crevasse of our well-being. Ultimately they will leave and we are left devastated and broken.
The key is to have balance and good boundaries. Especially with yourself.And this means we have to love ourselves first to be loved by someone else. Not in a selfish way but we accept ourselves and our shortcomings – and we know where we stop and the rest of the world begins. Then, when you are truly loved it will be just as you described. Magnificent, wonderful, without pressures or demands and it will last a lifetime.
-peace
Being with the right or wrong person can and will determine a lot of how you feel about a lot of things, including love.
I was married 14+ years, I loved her, but she did not me. I know what love is because I now found it.
To have someone who you gladly give your all to, and the other does the same as well, that is true love. There is a balance though, each person is still their own person.
Sadly, it sounds like you didn’t receive love from your family, or maybe you do.did but just don’t see it that way.
There is a danger in putting your “all” in someone though, because in the case of your friend, if she were to break up with this guy, she will (and hopefully not) go back to cutting and/or worse.
So the key is to also be happy with yourself.
🙂
I feel like I am not loveable. Ryan said he loves me, everyone says he still does, but I feel worthless. I realize now I took him for granted and am filled with guilt
All I know is that love is not something I seem to deserve.
The most beautiful thing is to be loved and wanted, without it I feel empty and incomplete, I look on enviously at others who are together and in love and wish I, too, could feel the same but it seems it’s not to be, oh well.
Yeah, I know the feeling. I don’t even want to go outside most of the time. All is does is remind me how alone I am.
The only thing that will make me want to live is reciprocated love and commitment. But fuck, I’ve been on this planet for 25 years without a shred of giving or receiving real love. And I think I might have missed a critical period where young humans learn how to give and receive love. More and more, I am beginning to realize how hopeless my situation is and how I will eventually have to kill myself.
Me too. I’m a few years older and felt what love could be like for a while, but she and I were different to begin with and only became more so. I think we both just needed something to cling to and in the end, she decided we weren’t worth fighting for. I know us parting ways was for the best but it was the only time in my life I felt strong, like I had purpose. I was falling to pieces before, and now I am more broken than ever. It is not better to have had and to have lost. Knowing what helps only makes one reach more frantically for it and makes it less likely. I cannot go on like this.