Standing in front of a mirror has never been more freighting.
seeing every flaw,every imperfection,every blemish on your body.
its a nightmare.
you stare too long and then you start to see how your hair isn’t quite right and your eyes are shaped weird.
you get lost in this feeling Of disgust and despair inside but outside you show no emotion.you’re in a silent war against your self.
and all you want is for someone to see,to hold you tight and say you’re beautiful.but no one will.
and suddenly you’re looking back at the mirror and you see is ugly.if only someone would say you aren’t
5 comments
Don’t focus on every single imperfection you trick yourself into thinking you have. In all likelihood, you’re the only one that will ever see them because you’re the only one who will ever stare intently enough to notice.
I know the feeling. I am very critical of everything I am and everything I do.
Isn’t it funny how we hold ourselves to such a high ideal, but we are so accepting of others?
What is sad is when someone who’s attractive doesn’t think that they are. But the unfortunate reality is that we had no control over our looks at all-it was pre-determined by your parents who chose to have you (intended or otherwise).
I’ve been on both sides of the fence…when I was fitter, I’d get noticed a lot. Now that I’m not in shape, I know what it is to be seen as unattractive.
There’s not a lot you can do to change your looks aside from exercise and eating…unless you wanted to get plastic surgery.
This is the harsh reality of life and I understand where you’re coming from. I too wish that everyone could see me as being hot/beautiful…I’ve been there, tasted it, it’s an amazing feeling to be able to attract those you find attractive….then I lost it. And I’m still only drawn to attractive girls but they’re largely not interested in me. I can see why some guys turn into assholes.
But life isn’t all about looks…I’m doing a shitty job, far below my university education, don’t live in a great place, struggling to get by and so on. My looks were the icing on the cake but if my life is garbage (as it is mostly now), then the rest doesn’t mean much.
Each day can be a struggle for me and it eventually wears you down. Death sometimes seems a better alternative. In my case my close-knit family is keeping me going (they don’t know I’m suicidal) but if wasn’t for them, there’s almost nothing tying me to the earth….I’d leave fairly swiftly if I could. Life was pretty good for me in my 20s but when to shit after that. I don’t even know why or how I keep going still…I have nothing to live for really.
Just to add to my point, I don’t blame attractive girls if they don’t want to date an unattractive guy…they’re entitled to get someone attractive also…but I can’t help but get a little jealous if a pretty girl’s with an ugly dude and it’s something you do see happen often. I guess you either have to have the balls to approach them, play the numbers game or be in the right environment to get girls who go for personality, not looks. But that’s just one of my numerous problems in this shitty life.
correction: an attractive guy…sorry it’s late and I’m tired.