Lonely and wish I had friends….friends that can understand and relate
I’ve had my first full proper meal in front of my family instead of on my own and i haven’t purged it nor do i have any intention to
this is a crazy achievement on its own but coupled with the fact im finally okay with eating at all its crazy im still not okay with my weight but that can take a back seat.
i can’t believe this one thing has changed my view in life so dramatically. it might only be for a few hours or days idk. but its a kind of happiness of pride id forgotten i could feel. and […]
I cannot believe it but I’m at the point where I’m just willing to accept my death. if it comes tomorrow, day after, in the next 5 years even better!Some people say it gets better. for me it never has and now that i’m tired of hoping and trying to work so it does. I am willing to accept that death will be better than this existence. i dont know about afterlife, rebirth and shit. what happens then is another chapter but for now.. Death! i welcome you!
I’ve been cooped up at home for almost a month now. Tomorrow I am required to leave my lumpy pillow behind and dress up. What is this “outside” that many speak of? I only love that which I know, that which is familiar and comfortable. Why would I venture anywhere else? I have forgotten what that awful word represents, and confess that I have no desire to remember. T_T
Anyone from India?
My best friend , Elizabeth, of almost 30 years was here visiting for my Son’s, her Godson’s, 18th Birthday from the East Coast. Her Companion, of 15 years had been having problems with Depression months before, after finding out her had terminal cancer. He had been under the care of several doctors and therapists and was actually supposed to be in a live in treatment program while she was away but he never went. His body was found on her couch, with a gunshot wound to his heart, two days later by his elderly uncle who was sent to check on him when no one had […]
Although I didn’t know her, she is the second person in the media to commit suicide recently. She was a singer and Robin Williams also passed away recently.
Most of us try to commit suicide, think about it or know someone who does but it always sad to see someone go…
Some of this could be prevented if only someone would care enough and help one another along the way….
At least for me, I know if someone have me a hug every now and then, […]
Sometimes I’ll just sit there and listen to slow piano music for over an hour.. Because I’m too broken to do anything and i physically can’t do anything.. It’s a hard life.. and it’s been too overwhelming lately.. I can’t go on like this.. I scared of what will happen to me.. I’m going to break soon i know it.. Just a few more panic attacks away..
…after a week of not seeing her turns into both of us crying in a bar while she tells me that she can’t promise me to be that person who builds a life with me, and that i deserve to be in a relationship where i’m a priority but that she loves me and doesn’t want to lose me. I come home and get on some dating pas to cruise since we’re poly anyway and there’s nothing better than drowning your sorrow in another person and this boy tells me “i can’t date someone who is basically taken.” Now i know I wouldn’t want to […]
I cut myself for the first time.
I don’t honestly know what to say so i’ll just start typing and hope it works. so for the most part my life hasn’t been the worst I grew up mostly in a trashy trailer park my dad left the day i was born. i also got bullied when i was little i would come home with bruise, cuts, scraps quite often there where some older gets who would beat on me. it wasn’t to bad then it started when i was about 4 but i had a few friends so i could take it. but in second grade my mom forced me to switch […]
Long story short. .I have been engaged for the past 3 years, we had been dating for 5 years, and we have been friends since mid 2000. I suffer from depression and have attempted suicide several times in the past. When my other half and I started dating something changed in me. I could feel it and my family could see it. He was a blessing in disguise. After April of this year I could feel something wasn’t the same my gut said he was […]
Here i am, unable to sleep once again. It has been becoming more regular lately. Thinking of the failures of my life. The failures bound to take their place in my life eventually, who knows how many more there could be. I feel like it’s getting closer to the day that i just give into these thoughts. I just want it to come to an end. An abrupt, swift end.
Now for a little back story i guess (sorry in advance in if i get carried away). When i was in primary school, i was bullied to the point where an eight year old (myself) wanted […]
They can make you go crazy. But without them, there won’t be progress. improvement.
It is the truth that prepares us for our future. But that is only if we know how to use it well.
But some of us never make it there. Some of us just cannot utilise this use of Answers well.
My life is in chaos right now. I’m moving to a different state on Wednesday. I’m gonna be couch surfing with a guy who will let me stay in exchange for me being a chauffeur. I put an ad out on Craig’s List saying I needed a place to crash and I’d do chores and cook in trade. I’ve gotten so many responses of basically “sleep with me and you can stay as long as you like”.
I hate people. I’m not a whore. If I were, I would certainly go for a sugar daddy type instead of someone who will let me sleep on their […]
It doesn’t make sense. Right now, me sitting in my room with the lights out, only listening to flow of my typing. I’m not popular, but I do have friends. I have a crush. I have a roof over my head and food on my plate. I have a family that cares about me in their own way.
But still, I am alone. All that there is left of me is a shell that smiles. Inside, it’s hollow.
What’s the point? All the pain, expectations for the future, burdens from the past. I just don’t want to anymore. I sound like such a whiny b*****. Don’t most […]
BIPOLA:
Life comes to standstill
Life is meaningless.
You don’t existed.
You are too tired to try.
Hope is DEAD
Feeling eludes you.
Some say you are good as dead.
You don’t feel you deserve anything.
You lost the sense of belonging
You feel detached
You don’t care.
There is no joy,
No sadness
No frustration.
You are just floating around……
Stop caring about yourself
Grow tired of the people around you
That includes people trying to help you or understand you.
You just want to sleep and sleep
and never wake up.
Waking up kills your dreams.
Thought I’d give everyone an update on life.
Got a small band and we have played a show.
Link is here:
I’m the guitarest. Feel free to check out more videos.
I also have a new number, so if anyone here needs to talk, feel free to email and get the number.
I’m trying to keep my days busy and entertained, so I don’t enter a dark place. If I were to say that I don’t have bad days anymore, it would be a lie. They actually happen often, but I try to distract myself from them.
My email: brl.cents@gmail.com
Cant take this anymore.
Im no longer alive, i simpley exist
Cant remember the last time i saw sense in something
Everything just seems like its not worth it
Dont know why i still bother
I simpley just lost my power to feel anything
Im trapped in this hell where everything just seems pointless.
(forgive any gramatical eror. Inglsh is not my first language)
Is xanax and ambien enough to kill you? My Dr said it was a heath ledger thing so not to take them together. Anyone know if that’s true?