The sad truth is that I deserve what has happened to me. I don’t want to be a victim anymore. My life has gotten better and worse since I originally joined SP April of last year. I’ve been in love and then lost it, I’ve made friends and lost them just as easily, and I have felt successful and happy for the first time and then lost it. I use the word lost as if I had any control over the situations, but I didn’t. All of those things were taken from me while I sat and watched. I surrendered before the fight even began. […]
My Life Is Just Wasting Away. I Stopped Going To School, I’m Constantly In My Room Alone And My Parents Don’t Seem To Care. I’ve Tried So Many Times To Die But Only Seem To End Up In The Hospital. I’m Just So Tired Of Feeling Unloved And Unwanted. There’s Not A Single Day That I Wake Up And Cry, Just Wishing That This Pain Inside Me Would Go Away. I’ve Lied So Many Times To Myself That Now I Don’t Even Know Who That Girl Is In The Mirror. I Just Wish That My Parents Cared About Me, Cause I Can’t Tell You How […]
I’m so done caring, about anything or anyone.
I’ve just given up.
In school, in life.
I’m a disappointment to everyone, but i don’t care.
I can’t care.
I’m incapable of caring anymore.
I’ve tried.
I’m just so done, so empty, so lost, so tired, tired of it all.
I don’t care
Snuggle up with me here on this thread of amazing wonders!
Tell me moments where you needed a hug the most, and let me know who you would like to hug next. I’m crying as I type this, I’m crying with happiness. I love each and every one of you. You all give me lots of hope, and now I want to listen to all of your problems. It’s my way of saying, “Thanks for tolerating me!” (^^)
(I’m not leaving this forum. Not unless the administrator […]
Yeah… Tonight seems good.
Mid-week social activity:
What’s your favorite soup?
I know this is going to devastate everyone that I love and that loves me and for that, I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. I honestly do love each and every one of you and I pray that this doesn’t make you love me any less or think less of me.
This is not something I am taking lightly. The worst part of this is not the fear, its not the unknown, its knowing that I am going to leave behind my pain for others to have to experience. What I do know is that every one of you are so much […]
I survived a rather serious attempt on my own life almost exactly 15 years ago. To be honest, there have been a lot of times since that I have felt truly sorry I failed. Unfortunately, it seems like this is more and more the case.
At any rate, I thought I would try to participate in this community a bit. If you are reading this, you are already probably aware that “normal” people don’t understand what this is like. Indeed, they freak out. Maybe there will be […]
Can I just say, I am so fucking tired of people telling me “if you’re depressed then change it”.
THANK YOU!
That is such a revelation! I’m better now! I had no idea that I was perpetuating my own misery for 26 years of life!
People think they’re helping when all they’re doing is making things worse. I don’t complain at the time because really, I’m thankful for anyone even wanting to help or have a minute amount of care for my well-being but inside I’m screaming.
I know I’m not alone. I know at least one of you out there can identify […]
I wonder why all the doctors and professors I’ve met told me its going to be okay. I mean, they should know better that there is no escape. This is not a passing cold.
That pisses me off. Later, after 6 months of therapy, they tell me the truth. Fucking morons. I knew that from the beginning. It doesn’t matter how much you stuff me with Prozac, it will be there.
Why are ppl so inconsiderate? ! A prime example of shit that happens to me… I WAS asleep. I was actually having the best sleep I’ve had in 2 weeks. She sends her kids downstairs to be away from her & they play on the xbox. Noe the xbox is right next to my “room”, with just a curtain dividing.
Do of course, kids being kids, they start yelling & making sound effects & the boy kept calling to me, reminding me that I had to show him something. She knows that I cannot shut kids voices out, like she, their mother, can.
So of course I […]
So many posts I read on here, so much loneliness, emptiness, self anger and hatred I wish I/we had the opportunity to meet one another and assist each other through these times. The powers that be know I can use a friend! Were all destined to die eventually its just getting through the “now” that’s so fukin difficult. I know I wish I had an understanding individual to chill with. Well back to my lonely world, to those that plan on killing themselves, good luck and to everyone else I hope you have an understanding friend to turn to!!! Good day all
I just realized that I hate myself that I can not forgive myself. That’s not the worst part the worst is that I don’t let myself live life I cage myself up because I am a coward. I am afraid of getting hurt so afraid that I probably ruined a possible new relationship whether it was as friends or as lovers. I push people away I push myself away because I don’t trust anyone around me I don’t even trust myself. Because people have always hurt me and I have always let myself get hurt. It’s so unfair how I can easily love and forgive […]
I did not intend to create this post but because of the interest my last post made I decided to add this one.
Many have asked not only here but during the many hospital admissions that I have had to read my living will. Being on the “Inside” of healthcare I have seen the many loopholes that both family and physicians have used to get around a persons living will and provide treatments that the patient NEVER wanted.
The two biggest examples that I know of are as follows:
1. Excluding “Treatable/Reversible” conditions. Let’s say that a persons living will states no to mechanical […]
i started cutting the other day… i done it before but this one was worse..
Even in the worst days, I would try my best not to think about suicide, but damn, maybe it’s just the shitty me or it’s just the universe that has some kind of beef with me for some reason. There’s always some fresh new shit that the universe, life, throws at me every single day. I am exhausted to the core of my soul, if there is any, or it might already be in hell, for all I know.
Being an adult you thought that maybe with age you will have courage, freedom and strength, but who knew, all you develop is […]
I have had suicide thoughts before. But the end wasn’t death.
You can read my story here:
Thanks for deleting my thread!!, do the owners of this website not understand that some people just want to fucking die!!! FFS!!!
What’s the point of suicidal thoughts if they won’t ever be translated into action? They’re just torturous. Getting better looks like a giant, long, leaking tunnel- almost impossible to move through. Yet death isn’t an option. How do you remedy this?
Well, here I am in the middle of the night again after another typically fruitless, frustrating day. I struggle to get scraps of work in the only two vocations I have…commercial graphics and photography. Clients have simply disappeared despite my best efforts. What I don’t get is that my stuff pisses all over most of the material I see and I can’t get anyone to hire me at a wage any better than that of a janitor…or they want a degree, screw my experience. And the people who know NOTHING about my business are the first to offer “advice.” Ridiculous, insulting and just puts me […]