And you cannot CHANGE the PAST … the endless stress, worrying, beating yourself up and regrets DO NOTHING except wear you down, eat away at your sanity and immune system and waste time. Learn from it and move on … tomorrow is another day and another chance to do something fun and great … live for today not for yesterday or tomorrow!
For years I’ve seen many people come here and lament things the happened in the past – they express these past events as if the are currently happening or ongoing. But like last year’s football (or insert your favorite sport) season, it’s OVER … it’s history, it’s in the books.
Everyone accepts the sports analogy as an absolute fact, And when it comes to their favorite sports team, they don’t carry the last season forward into the new, upcoming season. As a new season begins, we see the positive potential, we have confidence our team will perform better. We see the improvements our team made after the past season. But most importantly, we see our team come out on the field like champions – they feel and act unstoppable – last season, was last season – THIS year we DOMINATE.
Why, as individuals, do we have SUCH a hard time leaving a past event in the past? Why do we think it is in any way relevant? If you can see your favorite sports team as renewed for the new season, you should have no problems letting past events in your life remain in the past. When a past event is over, hit the “reset button” … like your favorite sports team starts a new season with a 0-0 record, you can leave those events where they belong – in the past. Start a new chapter in your life with an 0-0 record 🙂 Build your new “team” with only the best components from last year and jettison the stuff that under performs (past thoughts/emotions).
forward dawg
9 comments
wise words, dawg, good to see you around 🙂
I have accepted the past. I’m not worried about the past. But no matter what you or anyone else says about the past, the past is why I am where I am today.
No the past cant be changed but it can and will affect someone’s future.
The past does not dictate or write our future unless we allow it to.
Yes, indirectly, the “past” can effect the present and future … but only the consequences from the past. For example (and obviously NOT limited to) … if a person had the bad judgment to steal something and got caught, they may still be on probation a year later … but just because they are on probation for a previous crime, that does NOT necessarily make the STILL a “criminal” – provided, of course, that they have chosen to live within the law and no longer steal stuff. And while they may no longer be a thief, they must still make amends and rebuild the trust to the general public to reestablish themselves as having good character. It DOES take time, effort and understanding to rebuild this. But the more they put themselves in positions to be trusted, the more they will gain and rebuild trust with other who are aware of their past.
Everyone makes bad decisions/mistakes, but if you let the labels from those past mistakes stick you begin to “act” the part that the label suggests – this only makes the situation and future opportunities more difficult. It can’t be stressed enough that it’s never too late to begin making good/correct decisions. If one keeps making bad decisions they’re only digging the hole deeper.
tightrope dawg
Where’s the quote that helps people move on when their past was amazing, but impossible to get back?
think alot of people are in a situation with the ‘compounding effect’ where bad things continually happen to them… and they believe it. and they end up in such a state…
the ‘believe it’ part might apply to bullying for example. for other things i dont know if that applies. sorry im so bad with words
Just to be clear – a situation like “bullying” that is currently happening and has not been resolved is not a “past act” … it is a current “present” issue that, if left unresolved, can have future ramifications. Some of us were bullied in the past … like in school … but have grown into adults. The bullying ended either through resolution or simply by surviving and graduating from that school … years later, we have the choice how to view the bullying we endured – we can continue to play the “victim” role or we can be survivors and move forward having learned lessons on how to avoid or (hopefully) resolve the issue we faced for present and future situations.
Granted, it’s a bit easier when you’re an adult to avoid assholes who want to display their strength and power to others at the expense of their victims.
But my overall point was was, once we’ve made it through a difficult time – there’s no need to relive it – no need to “watch that movie” over and over … no need to relive those feelings/emotions … yet so many people do they replay them and feel exactly as they did when it happened years ago. Why do this? You KNOW how that movie ends … and if you din’t like the ending (how it made you feel) why on earth would you CHOOSE to replay it again and again? It is a choice, like it or not, whether you agree or not, it IS a choice …
Once upon a time …
Someone died
I made a mistake
I got arrested
I had sex with an asshole who used me
I was vulnerable
the list can go on forever
you do NOT have to CONTINUE to feel these things … but it is wise to learn the lessons of how they happened and how to avoid them next time a similar situation arises.
I, personally, have been married more than once and although my multiple marriages ended in divorce, the similarity starts and end with the words “marriage” and “divorce” … I learned form one to the next … i did NOT make the same mistake or assumptions from one to the next … I “grew” … I learned … and made new/different mistakes LOL … but still moved forward adding the new lessons and solutions to future relationships. It can be done … if you CHOOSE 🙂
pupil dawg