I’m alone.

I only have one person in my life. Its my boyfriend. He spends most of his time at football and we live 500 miles away because of the college he’s going to. I haven’t seen him in a few months. My mom and dad used to abuse me so I was taken away and put into an orphanage. I was adopted when I was 8 years old. I spent 3 years in the orphanage. My mom and dad were taken to jail. My mom had a shorter sentence than my dad. She tries to contact me daily. I’ve tried to kill myself multiple times. I’m now 18 years old so I was able to move out of my adoptive parents house. I live in an apartment all by myself. My adoptive parents don’t contact me much. I have a job at Wendy’s just so I can pay rent. I’m suicidal and depressed. I’ve tried to kill myself quite a few times. I started self harming when I was 13 and I still self harm to this day. My boyfriend is the only one who knows. He facetimes me every night to make sure I don’t kill myself.  He hasn’t facetimed me lately though. He hasn’t talked to me much either. I think he’s going to break up with me. I can’t lose him because he’s the only person I have in my life. If  I lost him, I know that I would probably actually kill myself. It sucks and I just want to die so so so bad. I have nothing to live for anymore.