I feel so alone in a group of people. I dont know what I have become. I used to be so happy all the time. I used to be so care-free. I honestly dont know what happened. Over the course of 2 years I became so cold. I never let people in (in my personal life) anymore. I don’t want to say I have bipolar depression, but I know that is not the case. But there is something different about me. Everyday is a battle for me. It is become such a battle for me to even get out of bed in the morning. I absolutely hate what I see in the morning & everyday. I feel so alone everyday. I dont know whats gotten into me. But I do have two or three days where the pain is bearable. My “demons” as what people call them, seem to be taking over me. I have thought about self harm on many occasions. I just need something to ease the pain I guess. I am afraid to tell people how I actually feel because I have this constant fear that people will think I am doing this for attention, when they dont know the battle I am going through.
IF ANYONE KNOWS ANYTHING TO HELP EASE THE PAIN, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!
2 comments
I can’t. I share your pain. If you find out, let me know.
I feel the same way.
A therapist told me I had bipolar disorder…After meeting me one time.
What nonsense! I thought.
She prescribed my medicine. I took it. Nothing changed.
I realized I needed to change my life.
I dumped my deadbeat girlfriend, I changed my job, I moved out of the country to separate myself from the things I hated.
Life got a lot better. Stopped taking medicine and better than I was 5 years ago. But still feel suicidal sometimes…
Still, not as strongly. I also actually have moments of happiness now.
But I STILL prefer to be alone and secluded.
I eventually just accepted “This is who I am. I prefer solidarity. I prefer isolation. I like to be alone with my own thoughts or have a PC screen separating me and the other person.”
If I talk just with 1 other person, I’m okay. 2 people, and I begin to get a little nervous. 3 people and I feel very anxious and I can’t talk at all. 4 people and I HAVE TO leave immediately.
Some people are just introverts. The world needs us just as much as it needs extroverts. Just accept that you like being alone and you don’t feel the same about other people as they feel about you.
That’s the best way, I think.