I always lose. No matter what the situation I will always lose. I don’t know what winning feels like. It’s destroying me. All my major life stages have been marked by serious catastrophic events. It’s soul destroying. My use by date is coming up.
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Oh, how many times this thought has run through my head. I understand your pain. About a year ago when my life seemed to be coming together finally, my past caught up to me and sent me reeling back down to where I belong. I can’t give you any sort of solace, as you can see, I haven’t been able to find any myself.
i wander, when we kill ourselves and it turns out to be better on the other side, will we have finally won?