selfish

Is it possible that there is a force bigger an even more capable of destroying me than just the society, the world and human beings this planet is.. Like the saying I have heard and used so many times before ‘the universe is against me’  Maybe yes it is yes it really is. I have tried so many times through my life to try and figure out why…. why me, why is this it, why was I born. what is the point of all this the point of life well maybe there is really no point who ever came up with everyone has a purpose that we go on paths and bad things happen to teach us lead us blah blah Its just more bullcrap that humans came up with because it definatley doesn’t apply to me and the hell of a life ive lived and am still living. even trying to write here now just so much keeps trying to stop me like everything else in life yet I keep trying trying to change life get “help” from other humans “professinols’ who don’t give a shit about me no one truly cares and no one ever will and ive tried to tell my story to help me make sense of life

I’m tired I’m exhausted I hate the pain I hate myself I hate the world I hate everything

I’m selfish pathetic a freak im a pshyco im nothing

some people say they are alone and have no one I really don’t excepet two beautiful children whos lives I am now ruining

dam this I cant even do this its taken

im so scared I hate life yet im afraid what if death is still the same or worse